​Welcome back Mamas. How are you today? I wanted to take this time to tell you about this topic today that I am super excited to share. It's all about believing in yourself and this knowing that you have about who you are. And we talked a couple weeks ago about, you know, what you want. And you know, I gave you a couple of ways to help you identify what it is that you want. And we're on this journey of discovering, like our true north, right, and where we're headed and what we ultimately want in this life. And I started to think about the things that got in the way for me along the way. And so I wanted to spend some time in this belief in yourself and the thoughts that you tell yourself on a daily basis and how that impacts how you think about yourself. So you may think that, I don't know, thoughts you have about yourself, things you want to be. You know, you may want to be an amazing mother, amazing wife, an amazing friend, and you may actually believe, like deep down you may think that you are or actually in your head, I guess you think you are a good friend, a Good Wife, a good mother. But when you are going through your day, you may not be talking to yourself as if you are a Good Wife, a good mother, a good friend. A lot of times the things that we tell ourselves in our head are not very nice 

to ourself, right? Like if you talked the way that you talk to yourself to someone else, if you talked that way to someone else, the way that you talk to yourself in your own head, a lot of times you wouldn't want to be in your own friend, right? Because it's not very nice. It's not always nice. We tend to say, oh gosh, I'm so stupid or I messed that up. I must be whatever I must be. You know, I'm horrible. I'm a horrible wife. I'm a horrible friend. I'm a horrible mother. You know, whatever it is. And you may say these things to yourself, you might not even say them out loud. Like, I talk to myself all the time. So I would actually literally catch myself out loud saying things to myself that were not nice, Not nice to myself, right. And so I just want to kind of give you a reality check or some, I guess ways that you can identify if you might be doing this to yourself. And chances are you are like probably all of us are like, I still probably, I know that I still do this to myself from time to time, but I do it a lot, a lot, lot, lot less now than I used to. And oh, I'm going to start with a quote. I have a lot of quotes today. Don't know if I'll get to them all, but so many good quotes when I was looking up this topic and just all of the things that we're going to cover today. So our first quote is from Brian Tracy, OK? And he says confidence is a habit, A habit, you guys. Confidence is a habit that can be developed by acting as if you already had the confidence you desire to have. OK, that is profound because a lot of times people like you hear the word impostor syndrome. You probably hear that a lot more now than you ever used to. Or maybe it's just me actually looked up the definition, because I'm 

like, what does what does the dictionary say that it is? And it says it's the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of 1 owns one's own effort or skill. So it's the inability for you to believe that you are as good as or, you know, like let's just say you're in a room with other moms and you feel like all the other moms have it together and you just don't and you can't act like you have it all together. Well, first, the reality is, number one, that they don't have it all together, right? Like they may have it all together in one area or two or three areas, right. But I'm sure there are areas that they are struggling in that they want to be better in that you may be really great in. OK. And so they don't have it all together any more than you have it all together. And so you have to develop that habit of confidence knowing that you're a a good mother, right. And so when you were with all of these other mothers, you don't have to feel inadequate because, let's be honest, being a good mother is loving your children well, right? Like, you can make mistakes as a mother. You can be a mess in this area or that area. You don't have to have it all together in order to be a good mother. You can be a great mother by simply loving your child and showing them that love and, you know, modeling behavior that you want them to, to have in this world to others. And you don't have to have it all together all the time, even if you lose your mind with them sometimes, like I've done it before, what do you do in that instance? Like, it's you're not always going to be perfect, but when you do mess up, you just go back and apologize, right? Because what if they mess up? Do you think they're going to be perfect in this life? No, they're not.
And if you were perfect, like, there is no perfect. But if you were, would that be something you would want them to strive for? I hope not, because no one is perfect, right? And so you show them that you know how to fix your mistakes when you make them right? Like, you go back and apologize to them if you lost your mind on them or if you made a mistake in some other way, just go back and point it out to them later. Like, hey, I know I messed up when I did this. Here's why. I promise I'm going to do better next time, right? Because that's what you would want them to do, right? You would want them to come to you and tell you when they've messed up so that you know, number one, you could maybe help them through that or just so that you are in the know, in their life, right? And if they make a mistake, you want them to apologize. So Confidence from being a good mother, a being a good friend, being a Good Wife. All the things that you can tell yourself in your head could knock that down. But if you practice the habit of acting as if you are already that mother, you know, you may mess up more now than you would like to, but you're working on it, right? And when you and you're recognizing it and you're going back and you're doing the things to make up for those mistakes that you make. So. So that is my first quote went went off on a little tangent, but it actually leads me to my next point and that is a quote from Tina Fey, which is don't waste your energy trying to change opinions, do your thing and don't care if they like it. OK. So this is all about believing what you believe about yourself. And one thing that can be kind of like a litmus test for yourself to like, recognize if you might be like if you don't catch yourself, like saying out loud to yourself, like how horrible you are or whatever your thought process you're telling yourself. Like if you don't catch that, but if someone else says something to you that, like, triggers you.
So if they may say something about, I don't know, your integrity or something about your mothering or something about, you know, you being whatever kind of friend you know, if someone says something to you and that triggers this huge defensive response from you, that's an indicator to me that something is off internally, right? Like, So if I am going on the defensive and trying to prove myself to someone else that I am, yes, I am. I'm a good mother. I am a Good Wife. I am a good friend, whatever it is. I am a good employee, like, and here's why. And like, you know, here you're trying to like defend yourself. If something, something little, you know, you know there are things that could set you off that are legitimate. But if something little that someone says or a comment you know, that someone makes sets you off in that way, that's an indicator to me that I may not be feeling like I'm feeling inadequate in that area. Like, it has nothing to do with their comment. Their comment could have been completely about someone else. Like it could have been about something else. It could have been about them. Like they might not have been gearing it towards me. And all of a sudden I'm on the defensive because it's an area that I'm struggling with that I don't feel as good as I want to be in. And so we really have to work on like what we truly believe at our core about ourselves. And that is why, you know, please go back and listen to the What You Want episode, how to figure out what you want in your life. Because this will also lead you to how you want to act like.

So you maybe working on certain things so that you can achieve them in your life, on whether you know whatever that might be for you, right? But you may have to work on yourself at a deeper level before you can get what you want so that you are confident that you are grounded in those core beliefs that you have about yourself and other people's opinions or what other people say about you or comments that they make. And even if somebody is blatant enough to come out and actually say something against you, you don't need to give that any weight or give that any thought or justify yourself in any way, shape or form, because you know who you are and what they're saying about you isn't going to Rock You. It's not going to send you in on the defensive because you know who you are, right? And so if we do this work on our inner self, then we don't have to waste our time proving to other people what we are or what we are not, right? Because we know and it doesn't matter. Like, I know and God knows and I don't care who else knows, right? Like if they want to think what they want to think, let them think it. Let their opinions be their opinions. And like Tina Fey was saying, do your thing and don't care if they like it. Great, great, great, great advice. And you know, one thing that I want to talk about is, is just this fear that can come up when you're starting to go after your goals. You're starting to go after your dreams. You're starting to try to add these different things in your life and trying to make your life better, trying to figure out who you are and what you want and how you gonna show up in this world. You're going to have these insecurities and these fears that come up.
One of them may be based on how you really think about yourself, but another one is just based on fear. And it's of fear of really it's it's not anything other than what is living in your head. Fear is if you've never heard it before, fear is false evidence appearing real, an acronym, FEAR. False evidence appearing. Real fear, right? We don't know what other people are, you know, saying what they're doing. We might be afraid to speak up, or we might be afraid to speak our truth or live our life or take this make this business decision or make this decision for your kids that, you know, maybe you want them to change schools. Or maybe you're moving and you know, maybe you're taking a new job and maybe you're going back into the world workforce. Maybe you're deciding to stay home. Like all of these decisions that you're going to make for yourself. Maybe you decide to start a new business, right? And you have this fear of what other people are going to think about that decision, this fear that they are going to judge you in one way or another for that. And it may come from, you know, something that you're in inherently believing about yourself at a deeper level, but it may just come from this like you don't really know if it's the right decision or not. And now all these other people are saying things. And so you're afraid to put it out there because you're afraid what other people are going to say. And that might change your mind. And you have no idea, right? Like you have no idea what will happen. It's false evidence appearing real at the time. Like we don't even know.
Even when someone speaks to us about a certain thing or has a comment or whatever, we don't truly know unless we ask 
them what their intention was. We can take things that people say the wrong way because of how we're feeling insecure about something. And so that is even like false evidence appearing real. Like that is like real. It's not just living in your head, It's actually, you know, happened. And it's still false. It's still not true, right? But one way I have learned to kind of deal with this is to write things out. So if I'm writing something out, what I want to do and the reason that I'm afraid to do it right. If you like, take and get down on a cellular level and you literally write out the reason that you're afraid to do it, sometimes when you write it out you might literally start laughing because it's so ridiculous. When you're actually writing it on a piece of paper. Like the reason that you're scared of it, the reason that you're fearful to do it is so ridiculous. When you write it down, you can have these thoughts and thoughts in your head, but and then you all of a sudden you write it down and you're like, what? Like why? Why would I think that, Like, I'm sure that's not going to happen Or you know, even if it does, like, I can deal with it this way or here's why I'm doing this. And so it's not going to matter what actually happens outside of what happens to you or your family or whatever the decision is about, right? Like. So you need to just have this belief in yourself and this knowing that you know, you know who you are, you're, you know what you're trying to become and you act as if. So you act as if you are that amazing mother that you want to be, that you are going to live up to that in your eyes. Again. It's not about not making mistakes, it's about what you do once you make them right again.
Same with being a wife, right? Like, there's going to be conflict, there's going to be disagreements, but it's about how you handle those once they have happen, right? And the things you tell yourself in your head that make you not as good as you think you should be. If you were like saying that to someone else, like someone else would call you out on it like you are, you are a good mother, you are a Good Wife. Like you are. Like you're just telling yourself, and you're nitpicking yourself with these things, that you are essentially just, I don't know, you're chipping away at your own armor or you're chipping away at your own confidence. You need to be your best advocate. You need to know who you are and act in a way that you want to be. And even if you aren't that person today, like don't get caught up in the fact that you aren't quite that person yet. Do not live in imposter syndrome, because everyone starts somewhere. Everyone starts somewhere, like the first time. Even, like, you know, professional athletes and professional singers and movie stars and all of that. When they first started, They were probably awful, right? Like they had to practice and practice and practice and act as if they were going to be in the NFL. Act as if they were going to be on the screen one day, act as if they were going to win a Grammy, right? Like you have to act as if insert whatever that is that you want to be in your life and you are not an impostor. That is who you are and you are working towards that every single day. You are becoming that person.

So Eleanor Roosevelt said you wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do. And that's good too, right? Eleanor Roosevelt said this. People are not thinking of you as much as you think that they are. So go and do the things. Be the person that you want to be. If others judge you for it, let them. But you do the work on you. You figure out who you are. You act in a way that is, you know, as close to that as you can. And if you mess up, you apologize or you do whatever it takes to make it right with yourself and that other person right that you've wronged. If you've wronged someone in some way, shape or form, like you are amazing. I believe in you and I want you to have that belief in yourself. And so I have one more quote that I want to share with you and it is this, it's Vincent van Gogh. And he said, if you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. So if you hear yourself saying to yourself that you cannot do something, go and do it because then that voice will stop talking to you, right? And so I am going to end with this quote it is from Ralph Waldo Emerson and he says. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. And y'all you've heard me say it before, you'll hear me say it again. This world that we live in is always trying to put their agenda on us, right? Whether it's from a marketing perspective, whether it's from a media perspective, whether it's from a political perspective, other people are always going to even, you know, the way that we're taught in their school system, like government, everything, everything has an agenda, so to speak. And everyone is trying to make you in alignment with the way that they think, the way that they believe things should be. you know, is just feeding into this like herd mentality of how you should, you know you like you go to school and then you graduate and then you get a college degree and then you go into the workforce and you work for someone else. And you know, that is great for a lot of people, and that might work for a lot of people. But there are a lot of people who that is not the way they want to live. That is not who they are.

And I want to help empower you to know that whatever it is that you want, whatever it is that you want to set your mind to, whatever that is that you believe about yourself, you can do that. You can be that. You can have that, whatever it is.
If you just start changing your mindset, start changing your actions and start doing the work towards whatever that is, you will get there. I know you will. I believe in you. I want you to believe in you and I hope this was helpful.

​Please, please, I would love for you to share how this is helping you, if this is helping you. If you have any questions, look in the comments in the notes section I guess and reach out to me. I would love to encourage you 

So I hope you have an amazing week and I'll see you next week. 

Welcome back, Mamas. How are you today? I am taking a break from regularly scheduled programming. No, seriously, like this topic that I wanna talk about today is kind of a derail from what we've been talking about the last couple of weeks. But I felt like it was important because of what's happening in our world right now. So right now it is October of 2023. a lot of people that I see on social media that I talk to are sad. They are fearful. They are anxious. They are upset by what is going on this is something again, that's happening on the other side of the world. However, it does affect us, right? And so, and especially in today's day and age, like if you go back and listen to my podcast about guarding your heart, I really get into this. But just thinking about what we can control and doing that right, like doing what you can control, what can you do, like what can I do on a daily basis, What impact can I have? And you know, when we take in things like what's going on it, it takes a toll. You can't like watch, listen to, read all of the things about what's going on there and not be affected by it, right. And so for someone like me, what I do is I do not turn a blind eye to it. However, I find out what's going on and then I do what I can do, right? And So what I can do is I can pray and then that's about all I can do about the situation.
Like it does not do me any good or anybody else in my household any good if I sit there and intake all of this disaster and all of you know this tragedy that is going on. And then I try to parent from that place. I try to go about my daily life from that place, right. So anyway, on that note, I just wanted to take this time to address what actions we can take or how you would, you know, if you're facing anxiety, if you're facing depression, if you're facing sadness, if you're facing fear, grief, all of these things. I want to give you some tools, some things that you can do to help bring you out of that place. So I'm gonna start with a quote. My first quote is from Aristotle. I have a bunch of quotes today. There's some really good deep quotes that I found when I was researching this subject. And this Aristotle quote is happiness depends upon ourselves. Happiness depends upon ourselves. You guys that can feel like what? Like you know, happiness depends upon me. Like it. But it's true. We get to choose like if I I understand because I've been in that depressed place. I understand that it may not seem like you can just choose happiness, but there are things that you can do that will lead you to the happiness. And I'm actually going to read my second quote like right off the bat too, because actually this one is from my planner. I love my planner, you guys. I have this law of attraction planner and it's like it's like my everything and so in it this week. Believe it or not, this is the quote that's in it this week and I think it's so applies to what we're talking about here. So this is Dennis Waitley. Happy people plan action. They don't plan results.
Happy people plan action, they don't plan results. So when you are thinking about the result that you want is to be happy is to be, you know, out of this depression is to be less anxious. You can't, you can't plan that, right? But what you can do is you can plan actions that will bring you to that place, right? You can control the actions that you take. You can't control the result that it's going to bring. You can control yourself. You can't control other people, right? You can control what you do. You can control what you say. You can control what you think. And so I'm going to give us some things that we can do with our mind, things that we can say and things that we can literally go and do that will hopefully help bring you joy. So the first thing I want to talk about is I'm going to challenge you to do something for yourself. SO2 challenges this week. I want you to do something for yourself and to do something for someone else. So you're going to take actions and actually do something that you know brings you joy. Now, if you're not feeling the joy at the time, like this can be anything. This can be something simple, like taking a walk. I want you to get out and take a walk in nature. Get out there. Like, try not to take your dog, because who knows what they're going to do on the walk, right? Like, I know maybe you'll have to take a child pushing in the stroller, stroller, whatever. But try to get out there alone if you can. And if you can't, that's OK. But I just want you to be in nature, be doing the thing that will bring you joy. And even if you start the walk and you don't feel the joy, by the time that you're finished, my hope is that you will feel better. And this is something you can do, like walking is one thing, but you could also like, for me it would be like putting on music and dancing. Like, I can be in a mood, in any kind of a bad mood, and I put on some music and I start dancing. And even if I'm not feeling it at the beginning, by the end I am like totally immersed. You have to put on some music that you like, right? Like usually I'll be like, Alexa play 90s hip hop and she'll play some 90s hip hop and I will be like starting out maybe just like, OK, yeah, here I am. But by the end I'm like a rapping. I am singing, I am dancing, I am acting a fool by myself or with my dog in my house and in my kitchen, my living room, wherever you guys. And it does, it completely changes my mood and my mind. And there are so many things that you can do. I'm going to give you some more examples so you could sing like if that's something you'd like to do. You don't like to dance, but you like to sing. Put on some music, just sing. Sing by yourself, you know, go somewhere by yourself and just sing. Go and read a book. You can do journal like if you're more of a writing person, go and sit somewhere quietly. Find some time. Like make the time if you have to get up earlier in order to just do this or go to bed later in order to just get out your feelings on a piece of paper. Just write and write and write. If that's something that brings you joy, write it down. It will help you to release it. Meditate. That's another one. Like if you're an auditory person and maybe you don't feel the dancing or the singing, maybe listen to. There are so many things. You can Google it, Google, Google meditations, 

and there will be free meditations that come up. Take 1015 minutes and do a meditation and really like it will help you release these emotions and something that you know, because there can be so many emotions that you're having, right? Like it might, you might actually be depressed. But if you're not like clinically depressed and you're just sad or fearful or anxious or maybe you've dealt with a lot of loss and you are experiencing grief, you know you can really take that grief and or that sadness or whatever it is and work through it, but you do. I I don't want to tell you not to feel the thing. Like you can feel the thing, but I don't want you to hold on to that right? Because if you, if you choose again choosing right, if you choose to hold on to that feeling, you can. You can live there. You can and that is not what you want though. You want the other side of that. And So what I want you to do is to release it in some way, shape or form. Have a good cry like you know it. It feels so much better after you have a good cry sometimes, right? Have a good cry, have a scream like go scream into a pillow, whatever. You need to release some of those feelings and then take some action that will bring you joy that will get you out of that place. You know, for me, over the past few months, our family has dealt with a lot of loss. And so we have had, I've had three uncles and now my grandmother who have passed. And that's a lot for one family, right to deal with. And there's a lot of grief, right? There's a lot of sadness. But for me, what I choose to do is focus, and this is what you have 

to choose. You have to choose to focus on what the good is right? Like so focus on. Don't focus on all the memories lost or all the things that you know that you can think about about the person that they may have missed out on, or you know, whatever think about. You can either do one of two things, like think about all the memories that you had with them, or think about what they would want for you now. Think about what that person would want you who is still left here on this earth to be doing now. Would that person want you to be sad? Would that person want you to be sitting in the sadness and grief all the time? No, they wouldn't, right? They would want you to get up, to go about your life, to have joy. way. It's OK when that sadness hits you and when it comes over you to feel it right, feel it. Please do like that is healthy, but don't live there. Don't stay there. Don't focus on all the what ifs or the what didn't get to happen or any of that. Focus on the good and then think about what that person would want from you. Because honestly what I believe is like I believe my grandma. You know what happened for me is I my grandma passed on Thursday and we were leaving Friday morning for Disney. Big huge family tip trip we had just planned And her funeral was the following Monday. So I was going to miss the funeral But I started to think about what my grandma would want. And I started to think about, you know, she would kill me, right? She would kill me for coming home. And so I chose to, you know, it was hard. It was a hard decision. But like, and trust me, like, there were plenty of times 

where I was like in line for a ride or watching a show or whatever, that I was just like crying, right? And but that's OK, That's OK. We are human. Like we are allowed to feel our emotions whenever we feel. And then I don't try to fight them. If someone sees me crying like they see me crying like, you know, I might. I don't want to create a scene. So I might like put my sunglasses on and try not to look like I'm crying right 'cause I don't want to ruin anyone elses time. I don't want to think moms all sad, you know, whatever. But like it was emotional. I was emotional, but I didn't live there. I didn't let myself like I was like, she actually, my grandma was probably getting to experience that with me, Like she could see me now, like she is in heaven with God, and she could look down on me now and check in on me and be with me in a way that she couldn't have before, right? And so I shouldn't be sad, even though there are times when I'm going to be sad about it, because I know I don't get to see her on this earth again. And that's hard, right? But I know that she's in a better place. She's not in pain. She's with my grandpa. She's with God now. Like, that is amazing. Amazing, right? For her. And yes, we are sad here, but like, let's not live there. Let's not live there. That's the way that I focus. And I understand that not everyone can think that way, but I just want to challenge you to try to try to think that way, to think, you know, what if she was watching over you, You know, like, what would she be saying? What would she be thinking? What would she be doing? What would she be telling you to do? Right. Like, that's some of the stuff that I was thinking. and you have no idea, right? If she was actually looking down on me or not, I have no idea. But guess what? It made me feel a lot better and I was actually like bringing her into the experience and remembering her right. So it just it can be this is just an example of how you are in control. You are in control. You control your thoughts. And this brings me to another quote. OK guys, so another quote. This one is from Mahatma Gandhi. OK, Mahatma Gandhi. I believe everyone knows who Gandhi is. And this one is happiness, is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony, what you think what you say and what you do are in harmony. Now that can seem hard again when you're in this place because what you think, what you say and what you do a lot of times aren't in harmony. Like you could be saying one thing to your kids or something and feeling a whole different way or thinking something different, right? And the problem is, is that if those things aren't all In Sync, you won't be happy, right? So that's why it's so important to think about what it is that you want. Think about what it is that you want to think about. Think about things that bring you joy. Think about things that bring you happiness. Think about what it is. And this is where I believe that affirmations can come into play in a big way. For me, when I was in like deep depression, I was in just, you know, not able to get out of bed. When I was getting out of bed, I was pulling myself out of bed because I had children and I had to get out of bed and I would bring myself to the mirror. And sometimes this would have to happen multiple times a day and I would take myself in the mirror. And this isn't necessarily an affirmation, but in the morning, I would also say in my affirmations, I'll get there in a second, But I would literally say in the mirror to myself, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And when I first started saying it, I didn't believe it. Like I can do all things through crazy strengthens me. I literally didn't even have 

the strength to like, come out of the bathroom, right? But I kept saying it in the mirror to myself until I believed it. Until I believed it. And sometimes it was like me crying, saying it into the mirror, and then I would all the sudden start to believe it. And I believe that you know. I, I, I If you don't believe in God or believe that Jesus died on a cross for us, like that is what I believe. And so I honestly believe that I gain my strength through him, that he is able to put the Holy Spirit into me and I will have his strength. And that's the only reason that I'm able to get through these times. And so I literally channeled that. But whatever it is for you that you can channel and maybe it's just your own willpower, right? That plays into my affirmation that I would always say to myself, because I still say the same affirmation, but back in the day when I started saying it, it meant something completely different than it means today to me. And it is I am in control and I create my own reality. So I would say that in the mirror to myself, in addition to a whole bunch of other affirmations, and I am a huge believer in affirmations. I believe that, you know, I'm not necessarily the kind of person who would say things like, you know, I will make $1,000,000 this year or whatever. Like, if something seems like a pipe dream to you, if it seems like a complete pipe dream and you don't have any faith in that it could happen, then that is probably not an affirmation you want to say to yourself. But like, I truly believe that I was in control at some point in my life and I did create my own reality. And so I was trying to get myself back to that place where I was in control. Type A here, and I want to control all the things, right? I want to control all the situations. Now, today, when I say that affirmation to myself, it is definitely different. Because back in the day, what I was trying 

to do is to gain back control of all of my life so that I was in control of my own reality. But I now believe that God is in control, right? But what can I control, right? I can control my thoughts. I can control what I say and I can control what I do, and I can control those things. God can control all the other things. There's so much that's outside of my control that I've now given that over to him, and I no longer worry about that. But I control what I think, what I say and what I do. It's just me, though. I can't control other people, but I can control myself. And so now when I say that I am in control and I create my own reality, I totally believe it. And I believe it by my mind. It's in my mind what I what I tell myself on a daily basis, what I believe about myself to be true, what I believe about my family, my, my, you know, again, think about what you want, not about what you don't want. If we are always thinking about what we don't want or what we're afraid of, or you know, the bad in the world or all of the turmoil, that is what's going to come out of us. That's why we have to choose what we think about and what we say and what we do and what we input. What we intake from this world is what we're going to put out. And it's all it's a law. It's a law of giving and receiving. And this plays into my next point, which is my challenge to you, that you have to do something for yourself and do something for someone else. OK, So what I want you to do is do something for yourself. We talked about the dancing and all of those things that you can do for yourself, but find something for yourself that you can do. You can get your nails done. You can get a massage like you can, you know, I find 

that when I get my nails done, like I never have my nails done. But when I do get them done and I see the nails like on a consistent basis, like through the week that I get them done every single time I see them, I'm like, oh, those are pretty, you know, so this can bring you joy. Like, you know, not just when you get them done or if you can't, if you can't go get them done, like, do them yourself. And then you can give yourself that joy, like for the whole rest of the week when you look at your nails and like, oh, look at that, I did my nails, You know, you can bring yourself some joy throughout the week, right? So do something for yourself. But then I also want you to do something for someone else. And you guys, this is powerful when you do something. We talked a little bit about this on the episode last week, I believe was either last week of the week before, but it's about outflow equaling inflow and what you put out to this world. You will get back okay. And so I want you to do something for someone else, and I want you, I want it to be genuine, like I want you to. And one thing you can do, and this may start out kind of not genuine. When you first start doing it, you might feel weird doing it. But smiling, it's proven that smiling is it chemically changes your brain. So when you smile, it releases chemicals in your brain and it changes your brain and you can't. It's really hard for you to be sad when you're smiling, right? So when you're out in public, smile at someone, hold it, smile it and hold it and that person will smile. Smile back at you, I heard Mel Robbins say. Like smile at someone when they're like 10 feet away from you and hold it until you get to 5 feet away and then say hello. And the other person, even if they don't say hello, they're going to smile back at you. They may not say hello, but they're probably going to smile back at you. OK, now who knows? Someone may look away and don't get offended. Just keep trying it. Just keep trying it. Because what will happen is you will bring joy to that person, but you're also going to bring joy to yourself 

and you will feel like if you didn't feel it at first, when they smile back at you, you will feel it, you will feel it, it will change your mood. OK, so that's something small that you can do. Something else that you can do is send a note or a text. So just write a note like handwritten note to someone, stick it in the mail or stick it in their mailbox and just thank them for anything. You can thank them for being a positive influence in your life. You can just thank them for being your friend. You can pick pick anything you want to thank them for and just drop them a note or in this day and age, just send them a text right. Send them a text and be thoughtful about your text. send them a note where they don't have to answer back and you're just thanking them for being them, for being your friend. Tell them you were thinking about them, you know, and that is going to brighten their day and they're most likely going to send you back a text that will brighten your day as well. And something else you could do is I'm just going to give you a bunch of ideas, right. So you could take like cookies up to your local, like fire department or Police Department, Deliver them some cookies. Write them a thank you note for serving your community. You know, like that hardly ever happens. Do that for a teacher, you know, your child's teacher or you know a coach or something of your child. Like send them a a little just thank you note. You know, you could make them cookies or buy some cookies if you don't bake but do something that will make them happy. But just a note alone will actually probably bring them a lot of joy because you know, they get that like on teacher Appreciation Week or something or maybe at Christmas and end of the year. But they don't get that kind of stuff throughout the year. Just little things you can do. And if you can't think of something to do, ask your church. If you have a church or a local church or nursing homes, those are great 

place to go, you know, and and I don't, you do something that's too far out of your comfort zone. but it will in turn bring you joy. So it's that, you know, outflow equals inflow. And I really believe that it could do wonders. And it's an action that you can take that's going to bring the result that you want, right? It's going to bring that joy in your life. It's going to bring that happiness in your life. We need more of that now than ever. When I think about just what's in my circle, my small circle of people that I know, love and care about, like the tragedy, the grief, the, you know, things that they are dealing with is a lot. And then when you take all the rest of this world and you put it on there, it's just a lot for anyone. And so I just really wanted to take this time to, you know, get some positivity, get you some love and some light to help you spread that to other people as well because it is so, so important. And I hope this helped you. I hope you took something from it that you can use and I would love to hear from you the things that you're going to do to bring other people joy, how it brought you joy or just any feedback that you have for me. So check the notes of the podcast. Reach out to me. I would love to encourage you to thank you for listening and you know till next week. Y'all have a great one. 

​Hey Mama, the Welcome back. I am super excited to follow up from last week's episode, so this is probably the only time that I'm ever going to say this. But if you haven't listened to last week's episode, I highly recommend stopping this episode right now. Going, listening to last week's episode and then coming back and listening to this week and because this week is going to build load on last week and it's kind of like the Part 2 of last week's episode. So last week I challenged you guys to do something right. I was like, ask yourself these questions for the next seven days. So I don't know if everybody got to listen on Thursday of last week when it dropped, when my podcast dropped. But if you haven't been doing it for seven days yet, just continue that process. Do it for as long as you want, right? Like, ask yourself those questions for as long as you want, until you kind of really feel what your desire is. That gut pool, that true north, that's telling you, not your head, right, not your heart even, but that gut, that visceral, like knowing that you just know that this is what you want to do. Like this is what you want. This is what you need. This is what you find joy in. And the follow up this week that we're going to do is just about finding your why like starting with your why and why that's so important. Like I'm sure you've heard plenty of people talk about it. You may have seen Simon Senek's like Ted talk on finding your why start with your why. He's got a second book that's that is actually walking you through how to do that. And
 
it's mostly geared towards companies or businesses, but it applies to everything, to everyone. And I want to take some time today, unpack some things, be a little vulnerable here, share some things of the process and the journey that I've gone through with doing this process and why it landed me here, how it landed me here. And I think it's super important to check into that why you want things? Because a lot of times you make these decisions, like you figure out what it is that you want in life. But when you don't have that, why you want it or you think you know why you want it, right? Like, I thought I knew why I wanted to start my business when I started it, right? Like way back when I started my first business, right. And then I, you know, grew out of that and it was never really like it was a perfect for the time of life I was in, but I didn't have a true why. And so that's probably one of the reasons why that business didn't work. But when I started my second business, I actually had, I dug deep and I figured out why it was that I wanted to start that business. And it's still going, it's still thriving. I'm still loving it. And you know, regardless of the money that I made from it, I would still continue to do that for as long as I loved it and as long as I have this like driving like why going on inside of me and what led me to this podcast, I did this exercise. So I'm going to walk through an exercise with you guys that I suggest you do. So if you figured out what you wanted, right, you figured out what you want, what you need, you most likely the the episode before that, right? It was about making a decision for yourself.
 
And that decision at that point may have been like, I didn't even realize, like, how this was all going to build on one another or how, like, God does mysterious things. Like, he works in mysterious ways. And he has like, put me, you know, I I did that, you know, make a decision episode and then followed it up. I really wasn't planning this. It was not planned. It was like, what should I talk about this week? Type of a thing. And God was like, this is what you should talk about. So this is where it has led me. But it really has built to this point and making a decision for yourself and then figuring out why you want things, what you want, how to check into that, how to figure out what it is you need, how to start noticing things that you're maybe uncomfortable with, what brings you joy. All of those things are amazing. But if you don't, go a little bit deeper and figure out the why you want the thing. Like why do you want to start the business Or why do you want to lose the weight? Or why do you want to to insert whatever it is that you want to do with your life. Especially when it's something hard like implementing a morning routine or deciding that you want to lose weight, right? Or you know all of these things on the surface are very good decisions. There are things that make sense that you would want for your life and they feel very good and it would bring you joy and things like that. But when you really dig deep and figure out the why behind what you want, then it takes it to a whole new level and it lives it within you on this cellular level. So when it gets hard, when you're in the messy, when you're doing these things that maybe you don't necessarily want to do that particular day, you can remember your why that you're doing it. And it's way easier to get up and go about
 
doing the thing right, to bring you to that place that you want to be brought to, to bring you the joy that you're wanting. Figuring out what brings you joy and then figuring out why. You know it is such a good combination that today I'm going to talk that about that. So what I have done, and this was not my idea, like I have heard it taught from multiple people that you always have to find your why but the best exercise. And I've walked through it in a couple of different ways but really the most the easiest way. Especially for a podcast. Like if we were in a one-on-one I could do some different things or if we were in a smaller group. But for a podcast, the way I want to walk you through this is going to be, it's going to be really easy, but it's going to feel hard at the time that you're doing it. So it's going to sound like, oh, that's easy. I could do that and I know what's going to like, what's going to come out of it. But when you go and you do the exercise, you will possibly be very surprised at what actually comes out of it because you're going to ask yourself why you want to do the thing like that you've decided to do. And then you're going to take it to another level and said, but why? Like, so whatever your answer is, you're going to be like, but why do I want that? And then whatever that answer is, you're going to be like, but why? And you're going to keep doing that for seven layers deep, y'all seven times. You're going to ask yourself that question. But why? But why is that important to me? But why do I want that? But why whatever? So what I decided to do because this is like me just sharing with you guys and I'm going to share with you the journey. When I decided that I wanted to do this, Mom is ready to find success as a podcast, as the business. Like the whole thing that is going to be rolling out here. This is just like
 
the first piece. The podcast is at this point in time. This is episode. Is it five or six? I am. I think it's six that it's six weeks in. Here we are. And this is the very beginning stages, but this is the exercise that I did with myself when I was deciding that I wanted to do it. OK. And so my why of wanting to do this and and mind you I still have another business. So you know people, people think you're crazy, right? People think what you are, a mom of two young kids, You've got all these activities. You're involved with the school, like you have your own business, You're a Jazzercise instructor, like you really going to start a podcast in another business. And I'm like, yeah, I am. That's what I want to do. That's what I feel called to do. This was like a calling. This was like something that has been bubbling in me for years. And in one way or another it's been bubbling in me for a long time. But like from this podcast perspective, it's been bubbling in there for the last couple of years. And really for the last, like, year and a half for sure, has been like right here. And I'm ready to do this. And for whatever reason, I keep, like silencing myself. And I keep hearing these people, you know, tell me that I'm so busy and they tell me these things out of love. And that's what you'll find a lot of times when you share what your ideas are with people, people who love you and typically are very supportive of you. They're going to be supportive, but they're also, you know, going to try to prevent you from getting hurt, right. They don't want to see you get overwhelmed. They don't want to see you, you know, fail at something. They, you know, if it's starting a business, they don't want to see the business fail. They don't want to see, you know, you put yourself into all that stress, stress if it's losing the weight and you've tried it before and it hasn't worked out. They're trying to protect you again from hurting yourself. And
 
you know and going through that emotional pain that I'm sure comes with that. And you know, whatever the decision is, there's going to be people in your life that are going to be coming from a great place of love trying to protect you. But really, if you know in your gut this is something that you want to do for yourself, You decided like you are getting healthy, like you are changing your lifestyle, like you are starting a business. You are. Whatever it is that you want to do, then you need to sit down and do this exercise and figure out why you want it and then go do it right. oh, which I didn't start with my quote and that reminded me of my quote I wanted to start with this quote. And this is from TD Jakes. And he says if you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion for your passion will lead you right into your purpose. So that's kind of what we did last week. That's what I meant to start with is you know your passion, what you love will lead you right into your purpose. So if you're making a decision for yourself to get healthier, like, who knows what's that, what that's going to turn into? It might turn into, you know, you finding a passion for something within that space and then that leads you to your purpose. Or it might turn into, you know, you achieving this thing that you've tried so many times to achieve but you never had the why behind it. And so you have failed so many times. But this time it's different, right? This time you're going to figure out your why and it's going to let you then take that, turn this into your purpose and help other people to be able to do that same thing. Y'all it is powerful, powerful. So what I want to do is start with my walking through this. So I'm going to walk you through my Why? OK, so when I thought
 
about this, my first reaction of why I wanted to start this podcast was freedom, money, residual income. Like I had. I have that multiple streams of income, helping mothers, helping others and following my heart. Following what I thought God was telling me to do my passion right? What my purpose I guess I should say And so when I asked myself that then I have to go deeper, right? Go deeper. So my next question was why? Why? So I want freedom, time and money. Freedom to set a good example for my kids and to help as many people as I can to find themselves and embrace that. Why do I want freedom? Was my next question. So I can focus on what's important and not have to do things that I'm not good at or that I don't like. So I can take my family on any vacation we want and eat whatever you want. And my kids can go to whatever school they want and I don't have to worry. So we can give back in a big way. So my handwriting, so bad. That's why I'm having trouble reading this. But why is that important to me? Is my next question I ask myself. Because I want to create amazing memories for my kids. I want them to have a life that is impactful, to do what their heart's desire, to help people they want to help to be happy, to create amazing lives of their own. I want them to know that they can be themselves and be whatever they want and know that no matter what, I love them always little deeper, right? Why is that important to me? So this is what, 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5
 
levels deep here? Okay, because the world is a broken place. Because we fill our lives with busyness and things and people get overwhelmed by it all. Because we are told we have to earn love and our worth. We have to earn our love and our worth. And we need to be perfect in order to be liked or succeed. And I don't want them to believe those lies. I want them to know they are loved by God. As long as they are doing what they know to be right and following their heart and their gut, which is God, then they will be successful. So that wasn't like 2 separate things. I wanted them to be loved. No, they're loved by God. Like that doesn't have conditions. Like that's unconditional. And then as long as they are doing those things, they will be successful, right? It doesn't matter like what the world's definition of success was. OKI want them to take chances and be brave. I want them to know it's OK to make mistakes and that we all fail, and that mistakes and failures are OK, and that we learn so much from them that they can be a blessing in disguise. I want them to look at me and see someone who is flawed but fearless. Someone who is brave and determined, Who works hard but loves what I do and has fun. Who helps others always and is known for giving. Who loves with all their heart and doesn't look for anything in return. Who shows grace and compassion but doesn't let people take advantage of them. Someone who loves God and isn't afraid to tell everyone that that is who I owe my success to. So that's a lot deeper, right? So you you kind of surprise yourself as you keep going. So I said again because this is that was only 5 levels, right. So why is that important to me? Because it's important to me to make sure they are healthy and happy, That they know God and love Him, and that they show his love to others and help spread light to this world, that they feel loved and seen and understood and valued, and that they help others see that they are loved and valued also. Why is that important to me? Because there are too many people in this world, sad,
 
who don't know God, who don't know they are loved, who don't know that they are enough, that they matter, that they have a purpose. There are too many hurting people in this world and hurt people hurt other people. People who know God and feel his love and feel valued and loved don't hurt other people, at least not on purpose. And the more people who feel that love and who know that they are special and that they don't need to earn the love of others or God, the better this world would be. The more souls will be saved, the happier we will all be while we are here and the more we all will get to enjoy this amazing creation we live in. Y'all. So it went from very superficial right, like very money, residual income, multiple streams, like helping mothers. And those are all good things, like helping others, following my heart. Like, those are all great reasons, right? But like when it comes to the hard and the grit and the whatever, if you don't take it to that deeper level, like by the end it's because I want to change the world, right? Like one person at a time. It is not about. It's like I want to make this effect on my kids. I want to change their lives. I want them to know that they are loved, that they are seeing, that they can do whatever they want, that, you know, it's one thing to tell someone they can do something was another thing to show them, right? I want them to see feed me model that behavior. And I took it to a whole new level. And you will find if you do this exercise for yourself, for whatever it is that you want to do, when you take it to that why level, it's going to be hard to stop you. It's going to be hard to stop you. You're going to wake up on those hard days and you're going to think, oh gosh, I got to keep going because I want to change the world or whatever it is, right? Like whatever it is, you will be
 
so much more in tune with it and I recommend I'll talk about this on another podcast, but I recommend like reading that often. I haven't read that why often but I have another exercise and some things that I'm sure I'll teach definitely in my courses that take that to a whole nother level. But I did want to want to mention a couple more quotes because you know how I love quotes that we're going to end off and kind of wrap this up in a Pretty Little bow. But the one is from John Maxwell and it says find your why and you'll find your way. So sometimes that. Finding that why? Like finding that deep inner why may actually lead you in a different direction. Like it might actually you might discover that you know you wanted this one thing, the reason you want it. Like maybe that is what you're going to go do, and maybe that is how you're going to get there. But you might go that deep and then discover, like you actually want to go and do this other thing where you, you know it, it. You might be able to pivot from taking it to that deep level. But whatever it is, you're going to know what your ultimate desire is and you're going to know what your ultimate drive is. So another quote, one more quote, and this is Mark Twain. And it says the two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. And y'all, when you have been searching for like I know for years, for years I felt like I was meant for more. I just didn't know what that looked like. I thought I had to find my purpose. Like I kept. That was a word I kept saying to myself, like I don't know what my purpose is. Like I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something, but I don't know what. And I I must have this purpose here. Like, I know I have this purpose. What is it? Right? And The thing
 
is, is that all these quotes I've shared with you from the first one from TD Jakes about figuring out your passion, like just checking into what you have fun doing, what all the things I talked about in the last podcast and then stack on this. Why? Part of it, you are going to find your passion and you're going to find your purpose. And I believe that this is going to be so powerful, This is going to be so powerful in your life. And I I just hope that this helps you. I would love nothing more than to hear about what you are discovering about yourself. I would love to hear nothing more than you know some of your answers to your questions. Like if you would be so transparent and vulnerable. I shared things with you. I would love to hear yours. I want to hear how this is impacting. I want to make sure that like I'm on the right track. Like I didn't jump too many steps ahead. And you know, I feel like this applies all the way back. And I actually wish that I had had this exercise like long ago when I was making big decisions in my life, especially once I like sometimes my big decisions would be like just jump and go gut decisions. But when I was having tough rough time making decisions, I wish I had had this like tool to go and help me dig deep. I would have a pros and a cons list. I used to do that like a pros and a cons. Like what are the pros of this? What are the cons of this? But like, even when I was making the list, there was still something in my gut that was telling me which one I wanted right It. And there was my head that started taking me out of the game of what I really wanted and when. At the end of the day, if you check in to what your gut is telling you and you silence the noise of your brain and you silence like you don't want. I'm not saying make stupid decisions, right, Like if something is just like doesn't make sense and is like I'm not telling anybody
 
to like make really bad financial choices or anything like that or you know, mortgage or house to go start a business. No, like, please don't, like, do things like that and less like, you know, talk to a bank or something. I don't know, but like, I'm not a bank and I'm not giving that type of advice. But please share what you're going through. Share what you're uncovering. I would love, love, love to hear it. And I would love for you to share it with other people too. But if nothing else, I would love to hear it. I would love to hear your feedback. I would love to cheer you on and just help encourage you. So this that's all I have for today. I hope this was helpful until next week. Y'all take care and keep smiling.

​Welcome back Mamas. I am so excited about this topic today and I had struggled with what to call it. I I came up with like 3 different things that I want to call it. And So what it's all about though is exactly what this podcast is named, right? It's the Mamas where you find success. We are going to talk about discovering your true North, but the bottom line is it is about following your heart. I don't even know if I want to say heart. That's why I kept struggling with it is because it's more like your gut. Because sometimes our heart can lead us astray. We put emotion into things and sometimes our head. A lot of times our head right. At least for me, a lot of times, our head can talk to us and have these thoughts that just aren't in alignment with our gut. We're trying to take us away from what we actually want because we, for one reason or another, we're in our head about it, right? We're going to talk about that on this episode. I am so excited. It's might have to be kind of two parts. We might have to like start here and go to a second next week. We'll just see. Because I never script anything out, but I do have a lot of tidbits that I want to mention today. I actually want to start with success is definition. So success what that is defined like literally in the dictionary. One is a degree or measure of succeeding OK, and succeed means to turn out well. So a, a degree or measure of something turning out well and two is one that succeeds. OK, so so one that turns out well, one
 
that actually does the thing, right. But there's an A and B of definition one, and the B is a favorable or desired outcome and it says underneath it the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence. So this is where right here where I think that the definition of success lives for a lot of people is the attainment of something, right? It's like attaining wealth, attaining favor, attaining eminence. What this actually is saying success is a degree or measure of something turning out well. So that's something is what you get to determine, right? So success is going to look different for everyone. It's going to look different for each and every person what their definition of success is. And the reason why I feel like you have to redefine what that is in your life after you have children is because your whole world change changes when you have children. And So what you used to measure as something turning out, well, it needs to be different than before because your whole world is different. Your priorities have shifted, everything in your life has changed. And so your definition of success needs to change. And if it doesn't, this is when we get into trouble. This, I believe, is when we start to tear ourselves down, when we start to overthink, when we start to beat ourselves up for things, when we start to compare ourselves to other people that may not be in the same season of life that you're in. We need to redefine what success means to us. And we should honestly do this throughout our life,
 
like at various stages, through various seasons. What success looked like for me back when my children were younger versus now when they're in school and I have some time to myself during the day is totally different. And it should be right. So success needs to change. And I think that one of the reasons that we get into these mindsets where we might be beating ourselves up, we might go into a depression, we might have a lot of anxiety. We're worrying a lot, right? These are because of what we believe success looked like us to us before. We're still trying to live up to that measure up to that. We're still trying to keep that as something that we should be able to do now. So my quote is from Steve Jobs. So love him or hate him, like everybody has an opinion right when it comes to Steve Jobs. But this quote, wow, it's deep. And I absolutely loved it. Loved it. So your time is limited. So don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. OK. Honestly, I was a little bit shocked when I read this and and her and her learned it was Steve Jobs quote because it resonated with me so much and I honestly had a like a different opinion of Steve Jobs. And so I was like wow, that is so true. And the part about living with the results of other people's thinking, you guys, that is a lot of times what we are dealing with. We are dealing with what other people's thoughts about us are, what other people's opinions
 
of us are, what other people's definition of success is. And we don't even know what our own is. What other people have told you? You know, you may have like a mom, a sister, a husband, you know, all of these people in your life that have influenced you and what you think you want for your life. But have you ever really checked in and thought about what it is that you want for your life? And whether you have or you haven't, like I said, it's going to change throughout different times and seasons of your life. And So what I want to do today is to challenge you to think about these things. OK. So I'm actually going to ask you to ask yourself questions for the next week. Like, I want you to take the next seven days and like, literally ask yourself these questions daily. I would love it if you would, you know, find a journal, get a notebook, take out the note section in your phone, whatever it is, whatever feels comfortable and best for you the way that this is going to fit into your life. But I want you to ask yourself these questions because a lot of times we don't really know what success looks like to us anymore. We've kind of lost ourselves in what we used to believe and what we think now or what other people have kind of been telling us or what we see. You know, when we see other people's highlights, reel, highlight reels, which whether it be like on social media or just, you know what you see when you pick up your kids from school or whatever at the at the baseball games or the soccer games or the dance classes or whatever it is. And you get a little glimpse into other people's lives. And you may see little snippets of what you think, oh, success would look like that, you know, or success would look like this. And chances are you are kind of everywhere. You're like,
 
oh, success would look like this and this and this and this and this. And it's like leave that. All those people that you're comparing yourselves to or yourself to are people that they don't have all of those things. They are successful in one area or two areas or three areas, right? But they're not successful in all the areas that you're seeing. Like if you see somebody who's got this pristine house and, you know, they're all organized and whatever, and that's like something you strive for, that would be successful for you. Like then you see somebody else who their kids are. You know they're thriving, they're doing all these things outdoors, they're doing doing this and that. And the other You always see I'm traveling like you. You can compare yourself to all these things. But the but the reality is, is the person who has all these organizational things and the person who is spending all this time outdoors and traveling and hiking and then the person who is doing this, they might not have all of those areas in line and you're trying to be all of them. You're trying to be successful in all of those things. And that's something that you might want. But like what? What is it that you really we want? I want you to check in. I want us to discover what our true north is together. And it's a work in progress. And like I said, it will change over time. But I want you over this next week, every single day, whether that's in your morning, you know, when nap time or when the kids are at school before you go to bed. Whatever it is, I want you to ask yourself these questions. So I want you to get still like really tune into your body and ask yourself, what do I want? What is it that I want? And it may be hard at first like the first day you may be like, I just want to sleep right, Like I just want to sleep like. But likely success doesn't mean just sleep right. So I
 
want you to try to go deep, and if it's hard at first, I want you to just not have any judgments and to just write. Like just write what it is that you want and then think about what makes you happy. So this might be something that you know because a lot of times you know a lot of different things make us happy or really lights you up. Like what makes you shine right? Like you are brighter when this is happening. Like, what is it that makes you on fire, right? What do you love? And then it would be to think about what you need. So what you need and what you want might be different. So I want you to think about what you need in addition to what you want and by what you want. I don't necessarily just mean like I want a new car or and it could be that, you know, like that could be one of the thing that you want. But I want you to think about all the things like that you want, right, Okay. And then I want you to think what puts you in a state of flow. And what I mean by that is, like, if you're in a state of flow, you kind of, like lose track of time. You're having such a good time. You're enjoying what you're doing so much. Doesn't have to necessarily be fun, but it's something that you're really good at and that you really enjoy doing. And so you kind of lose track of time doing it right. Like, is it, you know, for me, like it could be dancing or, you know, it could for some people be like scrapbooking or, you know, there's going to be lots of different things. Bargain shopping. I could tend to lose like so many hours far as if I am bargain shopping I can just do it all day and
 
spend like hours bargain shopping right? And I would be just be in heaven. So I want you to think what puts you in a state of flow and where do you lose the track of time Okay. And then I want you to also think about like this is might be a little bit hard, but like when you're doing something and you notice like that you're not having fun or you're not enjoying it. Like and it might be something that you that you have been doing because you thought you wanted to do it, but you're checking in with yourself now. Like I want you to check in with yourself throughout the day. So you do it in the morning or you do it at night, or maybe you do it both like in the morning and the night, like you just you decide what works for you. But I want you to check in with like what you would rather be doing. So if you're doing something that you typically always do, but you're not enjoying it, I want you to think like, what would I rather be doing? So like what would I prefer to spend my time doing? So this one, this next one is also kind of in relation to that. So, and it's about people in your life. OK, so who do I want to spend time with? So who do I want to spend time with? And if you are spending time with people who are draining your energy, and if you notice that you're not having fun or enjoying your time when you're spending time with certain people, I want you to check into that. I want you to notice it and to really ask yourself, like, why? Why don't I enjoy spending time with them? Is it because they're always, like, complaining about things And that makes me complain and I don't want to be complaining because you know what you think about you get, So what you put out, you tend to get back. And
 
so if you're putting out this complaining energy or this negativity all the time, or you're putting things out into the world that are not what you want to get back, that is like, counterproductive. It's counter, it's it's working against you. You are never going to get what you want by thinking about what you don't want. So I want you to stop thinking about things that you don't want, like if your house is a mess, which this one I can relate to, OK? And you don't want your house to be a mess. I don't want you to think about how your house is a mess all the time. I want you to think about the cleanly house. I want you to think about the organized house. I want you to think about getting rid of stuff. I want you to think about what you actually want and not focus on what you don't want. And that is hard, especially if you're living in what you don't want right now. Like, I'm living in the the chaos and the mess of my house right now and so it's hard to not be like this place makes me crazy or whatever it is, right? You cannot put that out there. You will never get what you want by thinking about what you don't want. Because whether it's your attitude or the vibration that you put out into the world is most likely what's going to be attracted and come back to you. So you don't want to put out things that you don't want to receive back. If you are lacking something, if you're lacking money, you don't want to be holding on to your money. You actually just want to go and give some away. I know that's so counterintuitive. But then all of a sudden you'll figure out like that it'll start coming back, right? If you are lacking self love, go and give it. If you are feeling unworthy, go and you know tell other people that they look like be authentic, but tell other people that they look amazing, that that they are beautiful.
 
Or tell someone else what you see or hear in them and it will likely come back to you. Helping other people and giving them what you ultimately want is it's just amazing how it works. But it is the what you outflow is what you inflow in inflow equals outflow. And it's so true. I've put it into practice in my life and I've noticed such a big difference. I got off on a tangent there. Imagine that. So who do I want to help? That's the last question, Who do I want to help? So you might want to help other people in your life and that might be what success looks like to you, right? So I want you to check in to those questions. Be still and like, ask yourself those things and like, just journal about it. This is going to help you to hone in on what is really important to you and what you want in your life, what you want your life to look like, what success actually does mean to you. Because you could have had this definition of success your whole life that you think you want this or you want that, and then you get that thing that you wanted and it like, doesn't make you happy. You hear this all the time from people. You know, if I could just have this, then I will be happy. If I could just do this, then I would be happy. But then they have that or they do that and they're still not happy. And you know why that is? It's because they didn't really want that thing. They thought that that thing was going to make them happy. But really, what makes you happy is it's internal, like you choose it. And so if you get in tune with what you desire on the inside of you, your desires, like I believe, y'all know this, that I believe your desire is literally like what
 
got implanted in you when you were born or before you were born, right? Like, we all have this innate desire within us, and we all know what that is. But we may have turned it down, or tuned it out, or let the ways of the world come in, or let fear. Like fear is a huge thing that keeps us from doing what we want to do. It keeps us from having success in our life. And again, success is whatever you want it to be, right? It's going to look different to everyone. I was on this panel last week at a women's event. It was like a panel and you know it's all about the Enneagram and these eight, the nine different types of the Enneagram, I am an 8. But one of the questions was what does success look like to you? And to some people it's very, you know, task, action, like what you think of when you think of success in this world, like what the world has told us to think of when we think about success. And then this one type, what was, what was her type? She was a Type 9. I believe she was a nine. And what she believed success was to her. Was like laying in the sun with her dog every day and getting to enjoy like the sunshine and some rest time with her dog. That's what success looked like to her. I was like my mouth like almost fell open, like that's really what success looked like to her. And for me for an 8, somebody who is high energy, go go, go, go go. Success would never look like that for me. Like, it wouldn't like, would I enjoy laying in the sun with my dog? Maybe. Yeah, like, OK for a minute or so. But success, That's not what success. Like, if she got to do that in a day that made her day successful, that's amazing. Like, I
 
love that for her, right? But that's not what. That's not what success looks like for me. So everybody's success is going to be different. And so I really want you to check into that and to tune out what the world tells you. Tune out the fear, tune out your ego. And when I say your ego, that might press some people's buttons. But I don't just mean like think about your ego like I'm cocky. I'm confident, you know, No, that's not what I mean. Sometimes your ego is putting yourself first by not putting someone else 1st. And by that I guess I mean like I remember being explained this once and his definition of ego was like an acronym and he used edging God out as the acronym And I love that so much. And it was because I was putting myself first, meaning I don't want the other person to think bad of me or to think I was trying to, you know, tell them to do something that they didn't want to do because I was worried about how they would think about me. I was like, not wanting them to think I was trying to sell them something. And the way that he put it, I was like, Oh my gosh, I am actually putting myself first because what has this done for me really? It's been absolutely life changing for my life to be a part of this company, and me not wanting to seem salesy is preventing me from sharing that opportunity with someone else where it could totally change their life, right? But it won't ever change their life. If I'm thinking about myself, I totally went off in a tangent there, you guys, and that's what I do. But this is what I'm talking about tuning into your gut and what it's telling you. Like if your gut is telling you to do
 
something like it was telling me to share this opportunity with other people and I am not doing it because I am worried that they will think I'm salesy or something. They might think about me that is putting myself first. That is my ego. That is not leading with my heart. That is not trusting my gut, right? So I want you to tune into what it is that you want, what it is that lights you up, what it is that makes you happy. OK, So success is something that is a it's a longterm goal, right? So we're going to tune into this, and we're going to start recognizing what lights us up. We're going to start recognizing what we want, what we need, what we would rather be doing. All of these things that I've told you to ask yourself, I want you to do that for the next seven days. And when I drop next week's podcast, then you know, we'll follow up to it. But something I want you to recognize now is this quote okay. And it's not a quote. It's more of like a statement. My life will not change overnight and I choose to give myself space to learn and grow because that's what life is all about. Life is all about learning and growing and becoming who we are meant to be, right? And so we can't expect to jump from where we are now to where we want to be and where we want to go overnight. And it's okay like we're taking baby steps towards the person that we want to be. And and if we start tuning in and checking in and figuring out what it is that we want, we're going to get there. Eventually we are going to get there. So I want you to really tune into that. I want
 
you to recognize your activity this, you doing this one little thing that is success, right? Like that is you taking the step recognize your activity, not just your results. So even if nothing else is changing this next week, but you are tuning into yourself and you're recognizing the things that are making you happy. Those little things that you're doing are making or they're going to make a big change and they are making a difference. They're making a difference. So I want you to let go of anything that has been holding you back from who you were created to be. Like. I want you to step into this person, little baby steps one at a time. And I want you to take these steps that I've given you today, these questions and ask yourself these questions for the next seven days and we will talk next week. Okay. Y'all till next week. See you soon.