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welcome back, mamas, or welcome to any new mamas we may have with us today, you guys, last week we talked about eliminating. It was prioritizing your sanity right? And it was eliminating. some things that could lead to Mom burnout, eliminating Mom Burnout and ways to do that. And I wanted to continue that this week and do like a part 2 because last week we talked all about. If you haven't listened to it, I would highly suggest you go back and listen to prioritizing your to do list and your schedule, and how to get some clarity around that, and how to maybe chunk it down to where it seems like it's doable, and it is something that does not stress you out. It actually fuels you to be able to go into your day in a better way. And this week. you guys, I'm filming this on a Sunday, right? Or recording this on a Sunday. Which I never do right. I usually do this like on a Tuesday. 2 reasons. 1 one is, I'm leaving out of town this week, but also because I was super inspired. To do this episode based on an experience I had in church today. So today at church there was a mom behind us that had her 2 littles. Now I never turned around so I can't tell you how old they were. I just feel like they were. Probably either they were twins. There were definitely toddlers, or they were very close in age, and maybe like 2 and 4, or maybe they were twins, and they were like 2 or 3. I don't know but I do know there were 2 children and a mom, and I'm not sure if there was a dad there or not, I have no idea, because, like I said, I didn't turn around. I wasn't wanting to pry. But what I experienced is something that like I said it inspired me to do this episode, and it is about just a couple weeks ago, right? We talked about another great episode to listen to about the power of asking for help and like actually asking for help. This week's episode. I kind of wanna talk about just taking the help that is already there. Right? So it made me really think about why this mom, okay, so we have a kids program at our church like there is based on their age. There is a very specific room they can go into. They get loved on. They get poured into you know they do music. They do. A Bible story like it is great. They have toys, activities, play dough like whatever for the kids to do while you are in church. Right? And it's it's a small room like, I said. It's based on your age, and it is It's for 2 reasons, right? Like one. It's so that your child can be poured into in a way and loved on in a way that they will be able to receive that love. And it's showing God's love to the child and teaching them to put God first and all of these things right? But 2. It's to give the parents a break, right? A chance to experience church for themselves and to fill their cup. you know. Put on your oxygen mask first, right? Like, if you're on a plane, that analogy like, put on your oxygen mask first before you. Fill your own cup. You can't pour from an empty cup like all these analogies were like popping into my head. And yet I wasn't judging this mom right like I did not judge this mom for not putting her children in the the kids, you know, the kids part of our church. Instead, I was like thinking about it made me think about why she wouldn't be doing that right like, instead of trying to judge her for not doing it. I started to empathize with maybe some of the reasons that she may not be putting her children into those programs. And what I came up with was, you know, things that I feel like. We all struggle, as you know. So it. This is just an analogy for things that happen in our life, and the reasons that we might be avoiding doing something that will actually help us and probably help our children. But we aren't doing it for one reason or another, right? So that help is like right in front of us. But we don't wanna take it. Because, like, I was thinking about this mom, like, like, maybe this mom works all the time, and this is like one of the only times, you know, on the weekend or Or maybe she's divorced right like. I don't think the husband was there. Maybe she doesn't get to spend as much time with the children as she feels she should, and so she doesn't think that she should turn them over to a babysitter when she does have them right. And like it's not a babysitter right like it's just. It's like the the kids part of the church, right? But it is something that she is resisting, based on, like a judgment that she has made about herself like. If she does that, maybe she's not. She doesn't feel like she's a good mom because she's she's again asking for someone else to care for her children for that hour that she's in church, or she's afraid, like she's afraid that the people that are back there won't take as good of care of her children as she is or as she would right. She's fearful to put them in that situation, because Number one, maybe she doesn't know if they'll misbehave. Or again, she doesn't trust the people that are back there to be able to care for her child as well as she could, or things like that. So what happened in this instance, right? Was this, mom chose this decision right? And then she got really frustrated right? Because her kids were being 2 and 3 right like there were being toddlers like they weren't being silent. They were you know, they weren't being bad, but they were verbal, right like they would be like da da da like whatever they were. Mumbling. They were like blah, you know, like, and she was like, sh! You know. She kept shushing them. And then at some point she got to a point where she was was really upset, because, like I said, they weren't crying, they weren't being overly bad. They were just being toddlers, but they were disturbing right? Like it was disturbing to the people like I could barely pay attention right, because they were right behind me, like we have kind of like the theater seating, you know, in the back of our church, and that's where we were. We were kind of up and so they were like right behind my head, right? And so it was distracting. It was very distracting, and you know, at some point she got so frustrated with the kids that she started saying things that I'm sure she doesn't want to say right like I heard her say, Shut up right like that's not something that you wanna tell your kid to do right. She like, threatened the Kid at 1 point in time told them they weren't gonna go somewhere, that she had promised them they would go, or something like that if they didn't behave and and you know, like again, just behaving in a way that she probably doesn't wanna behave. And again, no judgment. We've all been there. And this is what happens, though, when we get in that burn out mode, we get to that stressed out point when we let ourselves get to that point when we could have taken the help right like she could have chosen to take the help. There's also like a room at the back of the church where littles can go with their parents. If the parents don't want to put their kids in the church, it's mostly for like babies, because moms that have to nurse or you know, whatever. But toddlers definitely could be in there, too, like we would obviously, as a church, prefer that you put your kids into the the kids program or whatever. But if there's parents that can't, for whatever reason, like I, you know, I don't know what their circumstances are, but or that won't. Or maybe they're new to the church, and they don't feel comfortable yet, and so they're not going to put their kids back there. Whatever the case may be. We want the people to be able to feel like they can enjoy church, and you can hear and see church from in there. But you just you know, she wound up, having to go there anyway. right? And at that point she was so frustrated that, you know, like she was making she was making a lot of noise when she was trying to get them up to that point right? And and it was very distracting to other people. And like this is an analogy for what happens in our own lives. Right? Like we start out, we think we can do all these things. We want to do all these these things. Maybe you're anything like me. You're like control freak. You're like I can do all these things right like I can. I can. I can. I'm gonna prove to you that I can do all these things. And then you get so overwhelmed that you start reacting in a way that's not good for anybody. It's not really. You start to feel guilty about the way that you're acting. You're acting in a way that you don't want to be acting. Your kids feel that. And the people around you feel that like like the people physically in the church around her, we're feeling that. But I'm even talking about how you are doing this in your life with other situations and the people around you. Your loved ones are feeling it because you're so stressed out that you aren't. You're viewing. This is a weakness as opposed to taking the help. And so I I forgot. I forgot all of a sudden it just when I said the word weakness right? I forgot about my quotes right? And so I want to go to a quote. Ralph Waldo Emerson is this quote, and it says, our strength grows out of our weakness, our strength grows out of our weakness. And as moms, there are so many times when we're at that point of burnout when we're at that point, that we know we are weak, right? Like we know that we aren't at our best. and if we lean on, I'm gonna that's gonna take me right into another quote, if we lean on others for support, people that are offering it right. People that are putting it right in front of you, that you may be like pushing it away for one reason or another. For some reason in your head. It's making sense to you while you're pushing their help away. But you are pushing their help away when it is right there in front of you, and it's just there to support you. And yet you aren't able to receive it because of a judgment, or because you feel weak, or because you think others will judge you as weak, or others will. you know. Look at you differently, for you know not having your kids all the time, and then putting them into. You know the the play. you know the babysitting or you know, taking some time for yourself, or whatever it is right. But you know when you need that. And this is my next quote. This was is from misty Copeland, and it says, Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful, and believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you. believe that anything is possible when you have the right people there to support you. Be strong, be fearless, be beautiful. and believe that anything is possible. When you have the right people to support you. It really does sometimes take a tribe right like it takes a tribe to raise your children, and there are people in your life, even if they're people that you may not know like these people, this mom. She didn't know the people that were back that we're going to care for her children, but they are there to support support her to love on her, to love on her children. They're loving on her by taking her children right, I know, because I have worked back there right, and I know that that is our goal is to love on these children, to make them feel loved by God, and to make them happy while they're back there to do whatever we can to keep them happy so that they're parent can enjoy church and get filled up and get what they need from why, they're there right. They are taking time out of their Sunday to spend in church, and they want something from that, right? Like they're not just checking a box. Right? You don't bring toddlers and things like that to this situation. If you aren't trying to experience something and you gotta think about this as a metaphor for your life, right like, what do you want out of your life? You want more for yourself. You want more for your kids. You want more. And yet you're doing these things that may be preventing you from getting more, because you are worried about the way that you're gonna be perceived, or perceiving it as a weakness, or you're scared that maybe if you do use some support or some help that, you know, something might go wrong, or someone might judge you for it, or whatever it might be. If you're worried, if you take time for yourself. that that might be judged when you know what you need for yourself. Right? Like I guarantee you. This mom did not want to lose her cool with her kids, and did not want this situation to end like this right? But you don't think of it like that like she never thought of it like that. She would never have done this if she had thought that. And so And so I wanted to read the definition of what weakness is, and just to lean into. Well, let's just read the definition of weakness. First, so weakness is the state or condition of lacking strength. a quality or feature regarded as a disadvantage or fault. and a person or thing that is one that one is unable to resist or likes excessively. So that would be like a self-indulgent liking for so that would be like, you know I have a weakness for ice cream, or whatever like. I totally have a weakness for ice cream. But this is not the kind of weakness we're talking about, right? We're talking about a quality or feature regarded as a disadvantage or fault. and a weakness is something that we perceive right. It's typically something that we perceive about ourselves. But what happens is is we can use that. We can use that. So right now you may be in a state of burnout, or you may be in a state of overwhelm, or you may be in a state of discontent, right? And that is like a disadvantage, or you could see it as a fault, right? You could see it as a fault that you've let yourself get to that point. But it's okay, because out of our strength grows out of our weakness, our strength grows out of our weakness, and it says, one more quote, and this is just I. I found it on a website from dreams quote, and it says. strength does not come from winning your struggles, develop your strengths when you go through hardships and decide not to surrender. That is strength right? And in this case, deciding not to surrender doesn't mean deciding not to take your kids to deciding, not to ask for support or deciding not to get the support that is right there in front of you. It means deciding not to give up right like like this, mom She had to get out of the situation. She had to go to that room, or she had to leave altogether. She decided to go to that room. She could have left altogether right, so she still didn't completely surrender. She decided to push through, but sometimes the strength comes in allowing others to support you in the way that you need to be supported so that you can go grow stronger right? So you can fill yourself up so you can notice that you need some support and some guidance through this time. Right? It's not always gonna be like this. And you know, that could be looked at as it's not always gonna be like this, your kids aren't always gonna be this small. So you have to get every single minute with with them that you can. But let's look at the quality of those moments as well. Right? So this mom had gotten herself into this state, and the quality of the rest of her day right? I don't know what the rest of her day will be like, but I can tell you that it's probably going to be affected by what happened in church this morning. Right? It is at least going to be affected for the next couple of hours by that right like it takes a while for your system to deregulate when you get that worked up right. When she got that worked up, it's gonna take some time. And who knows what happened when she got back there. I heard some things that I'm sure she's not proud that she said to her children when she was there, but when she got back there, who knows? And it could have turned her whole day upside down, just that one decision to not take that support and that help. And so I just felt like, this was something that I needed to talk about today is just that sometimes when when we're scared, when we wanna control things, when we think we can do it all. When we you know, we wanna spend maybe the more time when we when we want to do all of these things and get it all in. But we just can't right. There are limitations. It's not a weakness to ask for help. It's not a weakness to accept help when it is offered to us right, and sometimes it actually makes us stronger. and out of our weakness comes strength right out of our weakness that builds our strength, it builds our character. We are able to help others right, we are able to get stronger so that we can do the things that we want to do, because I guarantee you. Well, I guess I can't guarantee anything. But my bet is, if that Mom had accepted the support from the church this morning, that she would have been filled and fueled, and she would have received her children back, and the day would have been completely different. and it would have been filled up. She would have been filled up, and she could pour out the love on them that she had gotten right. She had felt that support from others, and she'd also felt the support she needed from God, and then she would have been able to pour that out on her children, and possibly her rest of her family for the rest of the day. So I just wanted to, you know again, not judging this mom, not guilting you if you've done the same thing, but just recognizing that sometimes what we might perceive as a weakness where it meet, we might perceive as something that we are resisting might be exactly what we need to receive in order to give us what we actually want. So I hope that helped you. I hope that you know. This again was inspired by something that happened to me in church, but also just this burnt out moms like I feel like this is something I'm working on. I'm actually in the process of developing a summit for the end of the summer. That's gonna be for burnt out moms of littles it is going to be. I am gonna have these experts. They are gonna pour into us with tangible things that you can actually do to help you through this. And I just am finding so many different reasons and ways that moms need this support in their lives. And so I also want to take a quick second and mention the devotional that we're doing on Facebook. It's in the show notes. It's hustle free. It's a hundred days of less hustle and more Jesus. And that is another way that hopefully you can support yourself in just taking a time out right like taking a time out for yourself, getting poured into, and then being able to pour into your children. So check that out, and until next week y'all.
Prioritizing Your Sanity: Tips for Moms on The Brink of Burnout ~ Episode 37 ~ May 16, 20245/15/2024
Welcome back, mamas, or welcome to any new mamas we may have listening to us today, you guys, I have a topic today that has just been on my heart today. And so I decided to do this. It actually kind of came from a devotional that I started, and I hope you join us for that devotional. It is called 100 days of less hustle, more. Jesus. I have a Facebook group check the notes, check the description. You'll see a link. You can join us there. We're doing it twice a week. and I was inspired by you know, I always start with a quote. So today's quote is actually going to be a Bible verse. from our study. So it it is. Second Corinthians, chapter 12, verse 9, and it says, but he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. And you guys, this week I want to talk about support and a support system and you know, asking for support, asking for help, asking for what you need, and a lot of times as moms as multitaskers as if you're anything like me. Type, a control, you know, like to do everything myself and not like to look weak right like a lot of times. We feel like it makes us look weak or appear week if we ask for help, if we have to ask for help, and we do not like asking others for help. And so I am here to help like debunk this myth. That asking for help is weakness. I actually believe that it is power and just you know my grace is sufficient of for you, for power is perfected, and weakness. Sometimes, you know, when we ask for what it is that we need. And then and you know in this in this verse it's actually talking about relying on God right and his power, because his power is actually perfected in in our weakness, right like he can get stronger, and we know he is there. We feel his presence. We're able to tap into that when we be when we become vulnerable. and when we just surrender to Him, and he then gives us the strength and the power that we need. But it's also true in life, because when? you know in in any relationship, because when, if you think about it, when you are in a relationship and someone asks you for help. how does that make you feel right? It makes you feel like, oh, I would love to help them right, like most of the time we are, if we can, willing and able and actually fulfilled by helping others right like we are made stronger when we are helping like it actually fuels us. I don't know if you've ever you know, volunteered at, you know. Let's just say a charity, whether it be like a soup, kitchen type thing, or homeless shelter, or you know, whatever the case might be. But a lot of times in those situations like you are volunteering to help. But then you wind up getting so much from it that you are stronger for having done that right like it actually helped you. It didn't just help the other person or the group, or whoever you were serving right?
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