Finding Your Why - Oct. 12 - Episode 6

​Hey Mama, the Welcome back. I am super excited to follow up from last week's episode, so this is probably the only time that I'm ever going to say this. But if you haven't listened to last week's episode, I highly recommend stopping this episode right now. Going, listening to last week's episode and then coming back and listening to this week and because this week is going to build load on last week and it's kind of like the Part 2 of last week's episode. So last week I challenged you guys to do something right. I was like, ask yourself these questions for the next seven days. So I don't know if everybody got to listen on Thursday of last week when it dropped, when my podcast dropped. But if you haven't been doing it for seven days yet, just continue that process. Do it for as long as you want, right? Like, ask yourself those questions for as long as you want, until you kind of really feel what your desire is. That gut pool, that true north, that's telling you, not your head, right, not your heart even, but that gut, that visceral, like knowing that you just know that this is what you want to do. Like this is what you want. This is what you need. This is what you find joy in. And the follow up this week that we're going to do is just about finding your why like starting with your why and why that's so important. Like I'm sure you've heard plenty of people talk about it. You may have seen Simon Senek's like Ted talk on finding your why start with your why. He's got a second book that's that is actually walking you through how to do that. And
 
it's mostly geared towards companies or businesses, but it applies to everything, to everyone. And I want to take some time today, unpack some things, be a little vulnerable here, share some things of the process and the journey that I've gone through with doing this process and why it landed me here, how it landed me here. And I think it's super important to check into that why you want things? Because a lot of times you make these decisions, like you figure out what it is that you want in life. But when you don't have that, why you want it or you think you know why you want it, right? Like, I thought I knew why I wanted to start my business when I started it, right? Like way back when I started my first business, right. And then I, you know, grew out of that and it was never really like it was a perfect for the time of life I was in, but I didn't have a true why. And so that's probably one of the reasons why that business didn't work. But when I started my second business, I actually had, I dug deep and I figured out why it was that I wanted to start that business. And it's still going, it's still thriving. I'm still loving it. And you know, regardless of the money that I made from it, I would still continue to do that for as long as I loved it and as long as I have this like driving like why going on inside of me and what led me to this podcast, I did this exercise. So I'm going to walk through an exercise with you guys that I suggest you do. So if you figured out what you wanted, right, you figured out what you want, what you need, you most likely the the episode before that, right? It was about making a decision for yourself.
 
And that decision at that point may have been like, I didn't even realize, like, how this was all going to build on one another or how, like, God does mysterious things. Like, he works in mysterious ways. And he has like, put me, you know, I I did that, you know, make a decision episode and then followed it up. I really wasn't planning this. It was not planned. It was like, what should I talk about this week? Type of a thing. And God was like, this is what you should talk about. So this is where it has led me. But it really has built to this point and making a decision for yourself and then figuring out why you want things, what you want, how to check into that, how to figure out what it is you need, how to start noticing things that you're maybe uncomfortable with, what brings you joy. All of those things are amazing. But if you don't, go a little bit deeper and figure out the why you want the thing. Like why do you want to start the business Or why do you want to lose the weight? Or why do you want to to insert whatever it is that you want to do with your life. Especially when it's something hard like implementing a morning routine or deciding that you want to lose weight, right? Or you know all of these things on the surface are very good decisions. There are things that make sense that you would want for your life and they feel very good and it would bring you joy and things like that. But when you really dig deep and figure out the why behind what you want, then it takes it to a whole new level and it lives it within you on this cellular level. So when it gets hard, when you're in the messy, when you're doing these things that maybe you don't necessarily want to do that particular day, you can remember your why that you're doing it. And it's way easier to get up and go about
 
doing the thing right, to bring you to that place that you want to be brought to, to bring you the joy that you're wanting. Figuring out what brings you joy and then figuring out why. You know it is such a good combination that today I'm going to talk that about that. So what I have done, and this was not my idea, like I have heard it taught from multiple people that you always have to find your why but the best exercise. And I've walked through it in a couple of different ways but really the most the easiest way. Especially for a podcast. Like if we were in a one-on-one I could do some different things or if we were in a smaller group. But for a podcast, the way I want to walk you through this is going to be, it's going to be really easy, but it's going to feel hard at the time that you're doing it. So it's going to sound like, oh, that's easy. I could do that and I know what's going to like, what's going to come out of it. But when you go and you do the exercise, you will possibly be very surprised at what actually comes out of it because you're going to ask yourself why you want to do the thing like that you've decided to do. And then you're going to take it to another level and said, but why? Like, so whatever your answer is, you're going to be like, but why do I want that? And then whatever that answer is, you're going to be like, but why? And you're going to keep doing that for seven layers deep, y'all seven times. You're going to ask yourself that question. But why? But why is that important to me? But why do I want that? But why whatever? So what I decided to do because this is like me just sharing with you guys and I'm going to share with you the journey. When I decided that I wanted to do this, Mom is ready to find success as a podcast, as the business. Like the whole thing that is going to be rolling out here. This is just like
 
the first piece. The podcast is at this point in time. This is episode. Is it five or six? I am. I think it's six that it's six weeks in. Here we are. And this is the very beginning stages, but this is the exercise that I did with myself when I was deciding that I wanted to do it. OK. And so my why of wanting to do this and and mind you I still have another business. So you know people, people think you're crazy, right? People think what you are, a mom of two young kids, You've got all these activities. You're involved with the school, like you have your own business, You're a Jazzercise instructor, like you really going to start a podcast in another business. And I'm like, yeah, I am. That's what I want to do. That's what I feel called to do. This was like a calling. This was like something that has been bubbling in me for years. And in one way or another it's been bubbling in me for a long time. But like from this podcast perspective, it's been bubbling in there for the last couple of years. And really for the last, like, year and a half for sure, has been like right here. And I'm ready to do this. And for whatever reason, I keep, like silencing myself. And I keep hearing these people, you know, tell me that I'm so busy and they tell me these things out of love. And that's what you'll find a lot of times when you share what your ideas are with people, people who love you and typically are very supportive of you. They're going to be supportive, but they're also, you know, going to try to prevent you from getting hurt, right. They don't want to see you get overwhelmed. They don't want to see you, you know, fail at something. They, you know, if it's starting a business, they don't want to see the business fail. They don't want to see, you know, you put yourself into all that stress, stress if it's losing the weight and you've tried it before and it hasn't worked out. They're trying to protect you again from hurting yourself. And
 
you know and going through that emotional pain that I'm sure comes with that. And you know, whatever the decision is, there's going to be people in your life that are going to be coming from a great place of love trying to protect you. But really, if you know in your gut this is something that you want to do for yourself, You decided like you are getting healthy, like you are changing your lifestyle, like you are starting a business. You are. Whatever it is that you want to do, then you need to sit down and do this exercise and figure out why you want it and then go do it right. oh, which I didn't start with my quote and that reminded me of my quote I wanted to start with this quote. And this is from TD Jakes. And he says if you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion for your passion will lead you right into your purpose. So that's kind of what we did last week. That's what I meant to start with is you know your passion, what you love will lead you right into your purpose. So if you're making a decision for yourself to get healthier, like, who knows what's that, what that's going to turn into? It might turn into, you know, you finding a passion for something within that space and then that leads you to your purpose. Or it might turn into, you know, you achieving this thing that you've tried so many times to achieve but you never had the why behind it. And so you have failed so many times. But this time it's different, right? This time you're going to figure out your why and it's going to let you then take that, turn this into your purpose and help other people to be able to do that same thing. Y'all it is powerful, powerful. So what I want to do is start with my walking through this. So I'm going to walk you through my Why? OK, so when I thought
 
about this, my first reaction of why I wanted to start this podcast was freedom, money, residual income. Like I had. I have that multiple streams of income, helping mothers, helping others and following my heart. Following what I thought God was telling me to do my passion right? What my purpose I guess I should say And so when I asked myself that then I have to go deeper, right? Go deeper. So my next question was why? Why? So I want freedom, time and money. Freedom to set a good example for my kids and to help as many people as I can to find themselves and embrace that. Why do I want freedom? Was my next question. So I can focus on what's important and not have to do things that I'm not good at or that I don't like. So I can take my family on any vacation we want and eat whatever you want. And my kids can go to whatever school they want and I don't have to worry. So we can give back in a big way. So my handwriting, so bad. That's why I'm having trouble reading this. But why is that important to me? Is my next question I ask myself. Because I want to create amazing memories for my kids. I want them to have a life that is impactful, to do what their heart's desire, to help people they want to help to be happy, to create amazing lives of their own. I want them to know that they can be themselves and be whatever they want and know that no matter what, I love them always little deeper, right? Why is that important to me? So this is what, 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5
 
levels deep here? Okay, because the world is a broken place. Because we fill our lives with busyness and things and people get overwhelmed by it all. Because we are told we have to earn love and our worth. We have to earn our love and our worth. And we need to be perfect in order to be liked or succeed. And I don't want them to believe those lies. I want them to know they are loved by God. As long as they are doing what they know to be right and following their heart and their gut, which is God, then they will be successful. So that wasn't like 2 separate things. I wanted them to be loved. No, they're loved by God. Like that doesn't have conditions. Like that's unconditional. And then as long as they are doing those things, they will be successful, right? It doesn't matter like what the world's definition of success was. OKI want them to take chances and be brave. I want them to know it's OK to make mistakes and that we all fail, and that mistakes and failures are OK, and that we learn so much from them that they can be a blessing in disguise. I want them to look at me and see someone who is flawed but fearless. Someone who is brave and determined, Who works hard but loves what I do and has fun. Who helps others always and is known for giving. Who loves with all their heart and doesn't look for anything in return. Who shows grace and compassion but doesn't let people take advantage of them. Someone who loves God and isn't afraid to tell everyone that that is who I owe my success to. So that's a lot deeper, right? So you you kind of surprise yourself as you keep going. So I said again because this is that was only 5 levels, right. So why is that important to me? Because it's important to me to make sure they are healthy and happy, That they know God and love Him, and that they show his love to others and help spread light to this world, that they feel loved and seen and understood and valued, and that they help others see that they are loved and valued also. Why is that important to me? Because there are too many people in this world, sad,
 
who don't know God, who don't know they are loved, who don't know that they are enough, that they matter, that they have a purpose. There are too many hurting people in this world and hurt people hurt other people. People who know God and feel his love and feel valued and loved don't hurt other people, at least not on purpose. And the more people who feel that love and who know that they are special and that they don't need to earn the love of others or God, the better this world would be. The more souls will be saved, the happier we will all be while we are here and the more we all will get to enjoy this amazing creation we live in. Y'all. So it went from very superficial right, like very money, residual income, multiple streams, like helping mothers. And those are all good things, like helping others, following my heart. Like, those are all great reasons, right? But like when it comes to the hard and the grit and the whatever, if you don't take it to that deeper level, like by the end it's because I want to change the world, right? Like one person at a time. It is not about. It's like I want to make this effect on my kids. I want to change their lives. I want them to know that they are loved, that they are seeing, that they can do whatever they want, that, you know, it's one thing to tell someone they can do something was another thing to show them, right? I want them to see feed me model that behavior. And I took it to a whole new level. And you will find if you do this exercise for yourself, for whatever it is that you want to do, when you take it to that why level, it's going to be hard to stop you. It's going to be hard to stop you. You're going to wake up on those hard days and you're going to think, oh gosh, I got to keep going because I want to change the world or whatever it is, right? Like whatever it is, you will be
 
so much more in tune with it and I recommend I'll talk about this on another podcast, but I recommend like reading that often. I haven't read that why often but I have another exercise and some things that I'm sure I'll teach definitely in my courses that take that to a whole nother level. But I did want to want to mention a couple more quotes because you know how I love quotes that we're going to end off and kind of wrap this up in a Pretty Little bow. But the one is from John Maxwell and it says find your why and you'll find your way. So sometimes that. Finding that why? Like finding that deep inner why may actually lead you in a different direction. Like it might actually you might discover that you know you wanted this one thing, the reason you want it. Like maybe that is what you're going to go do, and maybe that is how you're going to get there. But you might go that deep and then discover, like you actually want to go and do this other thing where you, you know it, it. You might be able to pivot from taking it to that deep level. But whatever it is, you're going to know what your ultimate desire is and you're going to know what your ultimate drive is. So another quote, one more quote, and this is Mark Twain. And it says the two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why. And y'all, when you have been searching for like I know for years, for years I felt like I was meant for more. I just didn't know what that looked like. I thought I had to find my purpose. Like I kept. That was a word I kept saying to myself, like I don't know what my purpose is. Like I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something, but I don't know what. And I I must have this purpose here. Like, I know I have this purpose. What is it? Right? And The thing
 
is, is that all these quotes I've shared with you from the first one from TD Jakes about figuring out your passion, like just checking into what you have fun doing, what all the things I talked about in the last podcast and then stack on this. Why? Part of it, you are going to find your passion and you're going to find your purpose. And I believe that this is going to be so powerful, This is going to be so powerful in your life. And I I just hope that this helps you. I would love nothing more than to hear about what you are discovering about yourself. I would love to hear nothing more than you know some of your answers to your questions. Like if you would be so transparent and vulnerable. I shared things with you. I would love to hear yours. I want to hear how this is impacting. I want to make sure that like I'm on the right track. Like I didn't jump too many steps ahead. And you know, I feel like this applies all the way back. And I actually wish that I had had this exercise like long ago when I was making big decisions in my life, especially once I like sometimes my big decisions would be like just jump and go gut decisions. But when I was having tough rough time making decisions, I wish I had had this like tool to go and help me dig deep. I would have a pros and a cons list. I used to do that like a pros and a cons. Like what are the pros of this? What are the cons of this? But like, even when I was making the list, there was still something in my gut that was telling me which one I wanted right It. And there was my head that started taking me out of the game of what I really wanted and when. At the end of the day, if you check in to what your gut is telling you and you silence the noise of your brain and you silence like you don't want. I'm not saying make stupid decisions, right, Like if something is just like doesn't make sense and is like I'm not telling anybody
 
to like make really bad financial choices or anything like that or you know, mortgage or house to go start a business. No, like, please don't, like, do things like that and less like, you know, talk to a bank or something. I don't know, but like, I'm not a bank and I'm not giving that type of advice. But please share what you're going through. Share what you're uncovering. I would love, love, love to hear it. And I would love for you to share it with other people too. But if nothing else, I would love to hear it. I would love to hear your feedback. I would love to cheer you on and just help encourage you. So this that's all I have for today. I hope this was helpful until next week. Y'all take care and keep smiling.