Finding Your True North

​Welcome back Mamas. I am so excited about this topic today and I had struggled with what to call it. I I came up with like 3 different things that I want to call it. And So what it's all about though is exactly what this podcast is named, right? It's the Mamas where you find success. We are going to talk about discovering your true North, but the bottom line is it is about following your heart. I don't even know if I want to say heart. That's why I kept struggling with it is because it's more like your gut. Because sometimes our heart can lead us astray. We put emotion into things and sometimes our head. A lot of times our head right. At least for me, a lot of times, our head can talk to us and have these thoughts that just aren't in alignment with our gut. We're trying to take us away from what we actually want because we, for one reason or another, we're in our head about it, right? We're going to talk about that on this episode. I am so excited. It's might have to be kind of two parts. We might have to like start here and go to a second next week. We'll just see. Because I never script anything out, but I do have a lot of tidbits that I want to mention today. I actually want to start with success is definition. So success what that is defined like literally in the dictionary. One is a degree or measure of succeeding OK, and succeed means to turn out well. So a, a degree or measure of something turning out well and two is one that succeeds. OK, so so one that turns out well, one
 
that actually does the thing, right. But there's an A and B of definition one, and the B is a favorable or desired outcome and it says underneath it the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence. So this is where right here where I think that the definition of success lives for a lot of people is the attainment of something, right? It's like attaining wealth, attaining favor, attaining eminence. What this actually is saying success is a degree or measure of something turning out well. So that's something is what you get to determine, right? So success is going to look different for everyone. It's going to look different for each and every person what their definition of success is. And the reason why I feel like you have to redefine what that is in your life after you have children is because your whole world change changes when you have children. And So what you used to measure as something turning out, well, it needs to be different than before because your whole world is different. Your priorities have shifted, everything in your life has changed. And so your definition of success needs to change. And if it doesn't, this is when we get into trouble. This, I believe, is when we start to tear ourselves down, when we start to overthink, when we start to beat ourselves up for things, when we start to compare ourselves to other people that may not be in the same season of life that you're in. We need to redefine what success means to us. And we should honestly do this throughout our life,
 
like at various stages, through various seasons. What success looked like for me back when my children were younger versus now when they're in school and I have some time to myself during the day is totally different. And it should be right. So success needs to change. And I think that one of the reasons that we get into these mindsets where we might be beating ourselves up, we might go into a depression, we might have a lot of anxiety. We're worrying a lot, right? These are because of what we believe success looked like us to us before. We're still trying to live up to that measure up to that. We're still trying to keep that as something that we should be able to do now. So my quote is from Steve Jobs. So love him or hate him, like everybody has an opinion right when it comes to Steve Jobs. But this quote, wow, it's deep. And I absolutely loved it. Loved it. So your time is limited. So don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other people's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. OK. Honestly, I was a little bit shocked when I read this and and her and her learned it was Steve Jobs quote because it resonated with me so much and I honestly had a like a different opinion of Steve Jobs. And so I was like wow, that is so true. And the part about living with the results of other people's thinking, you guys, that is a lot of times what we are dealing with. We are dealing with what other people's thoughts about us are, what other people's opinions
 
of us are, what other people's definition of success is. And we don't even know what our own is. What other people have told you? You know, you may have like a mom, a sister, a husband, you know, all of these people in your life that have influenced you and what you think you want for your life. But have you ever really checked in and thought about what it is that you want for your life? And whether you have or you haven't, like I said, it's going to change throughout different times and seasons of your life. And So what I want to do today is to challenge you to think about these things. OK. So I'm actually going to ask you to ask yourself questions for the next week. Like, I want you to take the next seven days and like, literally ask yourself these questions daily. I would love it if you would, you know, find a journal, get a notebook, take out the note section in your phone, whatever it is, whatever feels comfortable and best for you the way that this is going to fit into your life. But I want you to ask yourself these questions because a lot of times we don't really know what success looks like to us anymore. We've kind of lost ourselves in what we used to believe and what we think now or what other people have kind of been telling us or what we see. You know, when we see other people's highlights, reel, highlight reels, which whether it be like on social media or just, you know what you see when you pick up your kids from school or whatever at the at the baseball games or the soccer games or the dance classes or whatever it is. And you get a little glimpse into other people's lives. And you may see little snippets of what you think, oh, success would look like that, you know, or success would look like this. And chances are you are kind of everywhere. You're like,
 
oh, success would look like this and this and this and this and this. And it's like leave that. All those people that you're comparing yourselves to or yourself to are people that they don't have all of those things. They are successful in one area or two areas or three areas, right? But they're not successful in all the areas that you're seeing. Like if you see somebody who's got this pristine house and, you know, they're all organized and whatever, and that's like something you strive for, that would be successful for you. Like then you see somebody else who their kids are. You know they're thriving, they're doing all these things outdoors, they're doing doing this and that. And the other You always see I'm traveling like you. You can compare yourself to all these things. But the but the reality is, is the person who has all these organizational things and the person who is spending all this time outdoors and traveling and hiking and then the person who is doing this, they might not have all of those areas in line and you're trying to be all of them. You're trying to be successful in all of those things. And that's something that you might want. But like what? What is it that you really we want? I want you to check in. I want us to discover what our true north is together. And it's a work in progress. And like I said, it will change over time. But I want you over this next week, every single day, whether that's in your morning, you know, when nap time or when the kids are at school before you go to bed. Whatever it is, I want you to ask yourself these questions. So I want you to get still like really tune into your body and ask yourself, what do I want? What is it that I want? And it may be hard at first like the first day you may be like, I just want to sleep right, Like I just want to sleep like. But likely success doesn't mean just sleep right. So I
 
want you to try to go deep, and if it's hard at first, I want you to just not have any judgments and to just write. Like just write what it is that you want and then think about what makes you happy. So this might be something that you know because a lot of times you know a lot of different things make us happy or really lights you up. Like what makes you shine right? Like you are brighter when this is happening. Like, what is it that makes you on fire, right? What do you love? And then it would be to think about what you need. So what you need and what you want might be different. So I want you to think about what you need in addition to what you want and by what you want. I don't necessarily just mean like I want a new car or and it could be that, you know, like that could be one of the thing that you want. But I want you to think about all the things like that you want, right, Okay. And then I want you to think what puts you in a state of flow. And what I mean by that is, like, if you're in a state of flow, you kind of, like lose track of time. You're having such a good time. You're enjoying what you're doing so much. Doesn't have to necessarily be fun, but it's something that you're really good at and that you really enjoy doing. And so you kind of lose track of time doing it right. Like, is it, you know, for me, like it could be dancing or, you know, it could for some people be like scrapbooking or, you know, there's going to be lots of different things. Bargain shopping. I could tend to lose like so many hours far as if I am bargain shopping I can just do it all day and
 
spend like hours bargain shopping right? And I would be just be in heaven. So I want you to think what puts you in a state of flow and where do you lose the track of time Okay. And then I want you to also think about like this is might be a little bit hard, but like when you're doing something and you notice like that you're not having fun or you're not enjoying it. Like and it might be something that you that you have been doing because you thought you wanted to do it, but you're checking in with yourself now. Like I want you to check in with yourself throughout the day. So you do it in the morning or you do it at night, or maybe you do it both like in the morning and the night, like you just you decide what works for you. But I want you to check in with like what you would rather be doing. So if you're doing something that you typically always do, but you're not enjoying it, I want you to think like, what would I rather be doing? So like what would I prefer to spend my time doing? So this one, this next one is also kind of in relation to that. So, and it's about people in your life. OK, so who do I want to spend time with? So who do I want to spend time with? And if you are spending time with people who are draining your energy, and if you notice that you're not having fun or enjoying your time when you're spending time with certain people, I want you to check into that. I want you to notice it and to really ask yourself, like, why? Why don't I enjoy spending time with them? Is it because they're always, like, complaining about things And that makes me complain and I don't want to be complaining because you know what you think about you get, So what you put out, you tend to get back. And
 
so if you're putting out this complaining energy or this negativity all the time, or you're putting things out into the world that are not what you want to get back, that is like, counterproductive. It's counter, it's it's working against you. You are never going to get what you want by thinking about what you don't want. So I want you to stop thinking about things that you don't want, like if your house is a mess, which this one I can relate to, OK? And you don't want your house to be a mess. I don't want you to think about how your house is a mess all the time. I want you to think about the cleanly house. I want you to think about the organized house. I want you to think about getting rid of stuff. I want you to think about what you actually want and not focus on what you don't want. And that is hard, especially if you're living in what you don't want right now. Like, I'm living in the the chaos and the mess of my house right now and so it's hard to not be like this place makes me crazy or whatever it is, right? You cannot put that out there. You will never get what you want by thinking about what you don't want. Because whether it's your attitude or the vibration that you put out into the world is most likely what's going to be attracted and come back to you. So you don't want to put out things that you don't want to receive back. If you are lacking something, if you're lacking money, you don't want to be holding on to your money. You actually just want to go and give some away. I know that's so counterintuitive. But then all of a sudden you'll figure out like that it'll start coming back, right? If you are lacking self love, go and give it. If you are feeling unworthy, go and you know tell other people that they look like be authentic, but tell other people that they look amazing, that that they are beautiful.
 
Or tell someone else what you see or hear in them and it will likely come back to you. Helping other people and giving them what you ultimately want is it's just amazing how it works. But it is the what you outflow is what you inflow in inflow equals outflow. And it's so true. I've put it into practice in my life and I've noticed such a big difference. I got off on a tangent there. Imagine that. So who do I want to help? That's the last question, Who do I want to help? So you might want to help other people in your life and that might be what success looks like to you, right? So I want you to check in to those questions. Be still and like, ask yourself those things and like, just journal about it. This is going to help you to hone in on what is really important to you and what you want in your life, what you want your life to look like, what success actually does mean to you. Because you could have had this definition of success your whole life that you think you want this or you want that, and then you get that thing that you wanted and it like, doesn't make you happy. You hear this all the time from people. You know, if I could just have this, then I will be happy. If I could just do this, then I would be happy. But then they have that or they do that and they're still not happy. And you know why that is? It's because they didn't really want that thing. They thought that that thing was going to make them happy. But really, what makes you happy is it's internal, like you choose it. And so if you get in tune with what you desire on the inside of you, your desires, like I believe, y'all know this, that I believe your desire is literally like what
 
got implanted in you when you were born or before you were born, right? Like, we all have this innate desire within us, and we all know what that is. But we may have turned it down, or tuned it out, or let the ways of the world come in, or let fear. Like fear is a huge thing that keeps us from doing what we want to do. It keeps us from having success in our life. And again, success is whatever you want it to be, right? It's going to look different to everyone. I was on this panel last week at a women's event. It was like a panel and you know it's all about the Enneagram and these eight, the nine different types of the Enneagram, I am an 8. But one of the questions was what does success look like to you? And to some people it's very, you know, task, action, like what you think of when you think of success in this world, like what the world has told us to think of when we think about success. And then this one type, what was, what was her type? She was a Type 9. I believe she was a nine. And what she believed success was to her. Was like laying in the sun with her dog every day and getting to enjoy like the sunshine and some rest time with her dog. That's what success looked like to her. I was like my mouth like almost fell open, like that's really what success looked like to her. And for me for an 8, somebody who is high energy, go go, go, go go. Success would never look like that for me. Like, it wouldn't like, would I enjoy laying in the sun with my dog? Maybe. Yeah, like, OK for a minute or so. But success, That's not what success. Like, if she got to do that in a day that made her day successful, that's amazing. Like, I
 
love that for her, right? But that's not what. That's not what success looks like for me. So everybody's success is going to be different. And so I really want you to check into that and to tune out what the world tells you. Tune out the fear, tune out your ego. And when I say your ego, that might press some people's buttons. But I don't just mean like think about your ego like I'm cocky. I'm confident, you know, No, that's not what I mean. Sometimes your ego is putting yourself first by not putting someone else 1st. And by that I guess I mean like I remember being explained this once and his definition of ego was like an acronym and he used edging God out as the acronym And I love that so much. And it was because I was putting myself first, meaning I don't want the other person to think bad of me or to think I was trying to, you know, tell them to do something that they didn't want to do because I was worried about how they would think about me. I was like, not wanting them to think I was trying to sell them something. And the way that he put it, I was like, Oh my gosh, I am actually putting myself first because what has this done for me really? It's been absolutely life changing for my life to be a part of this company, and me not wanting to seem salesy is preventing me from sharing that opportunity with someone else where it could totally change their life, right? But it won't ever change their life. If I'm thinking about myself, I totally went off in a tangent there, you guys, and that's what I do. But this is what I'm talking about tuning into your gut and what it's telling you. Like if your gut is telling you to do
 
something like it was telling me to share this opportunity with other people and I am not doing it because I am worried that they will think I'm salesy or something. They might think about me that is putting myself first. That is my ego. That is not leading with my heart. That is not trusting my gut, right? So I want you to tune into what it is that you want, what it is that lights you up, what it is that makes you happy. OK, So success is something that is a it's a longterm goal, right? So we're going to tune into this, and we're going to start recognizing what lights us up. We're going to start recognizing what we want, what we need, what we would rather be doing. All of these things that I've told you to ask yourself, I want you to do that for the next seven days. And when I drop next week's podcast, then you know, we'll follow up to it. But something I want you to recognize now is this quote okay. And it's not a quote. It's more of like a statement. My life will not change overnight and I choose to give myself space to learn and grow because that's what life is all about. Life is all about learning and growing and becoming who we are meant to be, right? And so we can't expect to jump from where we are now to where we want to be and where we want to go overnight. And it's okay like we're taking baby steps towards the person that we want to be. And and if we start tuning in and checking in and figuring out what it is that we want, we're going to get there. Eventually we are going to get there. So I want you to really tune into that. I want
 
you to recognize your activity this, you doing this one little thing that is success, right? Like that is you taking the step recognize your activity, not just your results. So even if nothing else is changing this next week, but you are tuning into yourself and you're recognizing the things that are making you happy. Those little things that you're doing are making or they're going to make a big change and they are making a difference. They're making a difference. So I want you to let go of anything that has been holding you back from who you were created to be. Like. I want you to step into this person, little baby steps one at a time. And I want you to take these steps that I've given you today, these questions and ask yourself these questions for the next seven days and we will talk next week. Okay. Y'all till next week. See you soon.