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• • and it is embrace, uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won't have a title until much later. Okay, so that is about uncertainty. And I think you know who knows? At the time when he wrote that, why, he was writing it. But it was probably just the fact that change right like there's always things that are changing. But elcome back, mamas, or welcome to any mamas that we may have new with us here today. You guys, I don't know if you have been following this podcast for a while, or if you are new. But either way, what you should know about me is that I like to stay current. I like to feel and pray, and get a vibe for what my topic should be. What would what we should discuss what mamas might need to hear from me each week, and this week. The topic is uncertainty.  because I don't know about you, but it seems like everywhere I go and every place I look on the Internet.  you know, social media whatnot. There are uncertain times. People seem to be less certain about the future, about what is going to happen. And it it is almost like an uneasiness or an unsteadiness, or some type of unsettled feeling that everyone seems to have. And I'm gonna start with a quote, because if you don't know also, I always start with a quote. You'll hear lots of quotes and love of quotes. And so this quote, today, I'm going to start with is from Bob Goff. this level of uncertainty that I am like speaking about today is deeper. It is something that is almost like a feeling. That is universal. I feel like everyone is feeling it
  
  
  • when, as it relates to money, and when I say money, I don't just mean like how much you have, I mean, like the state of our money like, you know what's happening with inflation, what's happening with the political environment? And who will be elected and how that will affect our economy. What's happening with
    you know, when I say inflation, it affects jobs, right? It affects the fact that minimum wages are being raised and people are letting. You know. Companies are closing their doors. They're laying off employees like all of these things that are you know, having a big effect on us right? You hear people? You know, I don't wanna get onto a negative thing. But I feel like it's these underlying uncertainty, unsafe like unsettledness that everyone seems to be in right now, and people are dealing with it in all kinds of different ways. Like some people, I feel like everyone is having busy energy right? Whether it is pouring yourself into your work or pouring yourself into your kids activities, pouring yourself into just staying busy, and a lot of times when we're doing that. What we are doing is actually trying to avoid something right like when we're being busy. When I think that you know, this term of busy is being worn like a badge nowadays. I feel like one of the reasons is because busyness is like a lack of intimacy. It is like you are trying to avoid typically intimate relationship. Intimate feelings like whatever it is. When you are busy, when you are trying to keep yourself busy, you guys. And I feel like with this.
  
  
  • you know, like, with this uncertain, I'm just going to say this uncertainty, Vibe. It's not even a thing. I'm making it a thing. It is like having everyone be very busy and you know, get caught up and do all of these things like sometimes at the same time, like simultaneously doing things at the same time. Because they are just trying to fill that that feeling of uncertainty. They're trying to get rid of it and not deal with it right and not deal with it. And so I just wanted to address this, and also kind of I don't know. Maybe maybe relieve some of you today, and also maybe give some direction. I don't know. I don't know exactly where this is going. Or I prayed before this because I'm like, Okay, God lead me in the direction of what people need to hear today, because I feel like people need to hear some sort of message of how we get through this. Or, you know, maybe some people need to hear why we get through this right. And so another quote, and this one it doesn't. I found it on one mindful our mindful lifecom. but it says you will never know how far you can go by staying where you are right. You will never know how far you can go by staying where you are. and the reason I bring this up now is because a lot of times when we are being busy and we are, we're avoiding something right like we're avoiding being. We're we're avoiding, you know, trying to feel our feelings. We're avoiding being intimate. We're avoiding. But we are staying where we are. Like all of this busy energy is not moving you forward right? And so we have to take action. And I'm in this like right now. It's called a take action challenge that I'm doing with my business coach, and we she's having us like. Take all of this action that might be messy, and it might be uncomfortable. But it's like moving us out of this uncertain feeling it's moving us out of. And so it might seem counterintuitive where I'm saying, you know, you wanna be. You don't wanna just be busy. But I want you to be busy like I want you to take action. And
  
  
  • the reason that it is not counter intuitive ever is not 2 different contradicting, you know, advice. I'm not saying that you should not be busy right? But what I'm saying is, you shouldn't be creating things to just make yourself busy. Right? Like you should have a goal. You should have an end. You should have a vision. You should have
  • something that you want some direction, that you're going right. And here, in mama's way to find success, we talk about finding our true North right? And so that's what I'm hoping to like guide people to do is for moms to figure out what it is. It's important to them. Figure out what it is that drives us to figure out what it is at our core. That is our true North. And then we go in that direction right? And everything is kind of that that true North, that guiding, you know, compass that North star. However, you want to look at it. That is our litmus test. That is our you know, barometer. The way that we look at everything is through the lens of that vision, or those principles, or whatever it is, and for everyone. It looks different, right? And all of these things that are happening in our world that are making us feel all these, you know.
  • uneasy feelings, and this uncertainty and all of this, it makes us feel very unsafe. And so I just wanna get us back into like a a safe energy, a a controlled energy, a place where you feel grounded and a place where you feel like you can take this action, but in a real productive way, and not just be busy, not just be overwhelmed, not just be stressed, not just be burnt out because of all of the things that you have to do on your to do list, but to know that you are taking action towards something that is going to be fulfilling for you, towards something for you and your family that is going to be your vision, what you are working towards. Right?
  • So I'm gonna I'm gonna go to another quote. And this is by Maya Angelou who I absolutely love. I did a paper on her when I was in high school, and it says I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.
  • And, you guys, I feel like what is happening in this world. It's scary, right? Like it's very uncertain. You know, we have AI, we have Bitcoin and all of these like you know. What are they called crypto currencies, and I couldn't think of the word crypto. But all these crypto currencies and things that are out there, and they're things that we may. There, we're uncertain about, right, like we don't know about any of these things. We don't know what is going to come of them. We don't know, you know, if the dollar is going to go away, or and if Crypto is like the thing of the future, or, if you know, the crypto is, gonna go away, and where everyone's gonna go back to the dollar. Who knows? Maybe we'll go back to like times of long, long ago, and we will go back to, you know, trading goods like my my daughter. This is like a sidebar, but she totally a couple of weeks ago we were. It was bedtime, and this is where she always has her like philosophic thoughts. I don't know if you guys are like that with your households, but you know it seems to be at bedtime is where all of a sudden everything gets real deep, and they start asking these tough questions and having these like philosophical thoughts that they want your opinion on and things like that.
  
  
  • But anyway, she was talking about mommy, why do people even have money anyway? Like, why doesn't everybody just do whatever they're good at it and like trade with each other like we should? Just, you know you could make this. And you know she was talking about how my mom sews, and like, you know, she can do that. And and you know, people could just trade things with E with each other like, why do we even need money? Or why don't we just take our stuff? And I think it. I think it actually started with we were giving away stuff like
    getting them. To give anything away is just like crazy in my household, like they want to keep everything, and they do. I will say they play with a lot of their toys. Because they have a lot, and they do use them. But it's like someone else could better use this or someone else could play more with this right and
    So I'm trying to convince them that there's this like city wide yard sale. And we're gonna participate. And I'm like, you can sell your stuff. So then you'll actually get money or whatever. And she's like, well, why don't we do that all the time with, you know things that we're giving away to other people just trade for things that you want, and I'm like, well, we don't want anything else coming into this house right now, but you know that's the way that it used to be, and she's like, I think we should go back to that. And she's talking about that.
  
  
  • So you know, that was a total sidebar. But really, you know, we have no idea what the future holds right. We have no idea what is actually going to happen with the way that we work and the way that we get paid, and the way that you know what is what is valued right? Gold is really high right now. Will it stay there? Who knows right? But the point is is that you can choose again if you know me. You know that I'm mobile, but all about choosing your attitude and choosing the way you react to things, but you can choose not to be reduced by it. You can choose not to let it take you down. You can choose yourself. You can choose to keep putting yourself and your family first, and to think about what is best for you, and to really get quiet and get still and really come and think about. And if you need help doing that, this is what I am here for. I absolutely love it. But
  
  
  • trying to figure out at your core what it is that drives you, and what it is that is your true North, what you're going after, and then how you get there right. Do not let all this outside stuff reduce you to the point of like giving in or starting to get give up or getting you in all this busy energy that is, gonna take you away from actually what you're wanting to accomplish. Right? So I I have another quote here, and it says, success is not final. This is Winston Churchill, Winston Churchill. Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts. It's the courage to continue that count. You guys, we just need to move forward like success isn't final when you're successful. At one thing, you know a lot of times you're unsuccessful at other things to make that thing a success. Hopefully, you can, you know, like I, I always say I also hate the word balance right? But I always strive for aligned flow. Right? You can be successful in something, but it's not final. That's not. We don't stop there when we're successful. Right? And failure is not fatal.
  
  
  • When you fail at something you learn from it and you keep going. But that is the key. The key is, you need the courage to continue. And that is what counts. And you guys, we just need the courage to continue in this time. I want you to know that there is something right like that some place that you can feel safe like there is. I don't want you to sit with this feeling of uncertainty and this feeling of you know the out of control. Right? I want you to take your control back and know that you can feel safe again, and and that it it is safe for you. Right, like the ways of this world, are different, right? The ways of this world are not the ways of God. They just aren't. You guys. I'm just gonna go ahead and take a stand and plant my flag right here. If you know I'm a believer, and I I believe that the ways of this world are not the ways of God, and I believe that you can look inward and find out your true North, and figure it out for yourself, and plant your flag there, and you can thrive in that space. You can thrive in that space. And I hope this is making sense. You guys, I just felt this overwhelming. I don't know since this week that from talking to so many people that are just. They just don't know what to do. They don't know what to do. And so it's creating all of this busy energy. And you know, spinning wheels, and you know even things that are that the the seem productive and that are like worthwhile and things that you could justify. Why, you're giving all your energy somewhere. But if you really sit back and think about it, it's actually
  • it's actually not. It's actually not like. It doesn't need to be taking all your time, or you could still be doing something about an area of your life that you really are passionate about, that. You really are driven towards that. You really want to make a change in and still be doing this other stuff as well. But you get caught up in all of this other stuff, because you just don't want to deal with it. And you don't know you're just uncertain. Right?
  
  
  • So hopefully, this is landing, you guys. I actually feel like I should. I should bring up right now. Next week. I'm going to be starting a devotional. And it's going to be in a Facebook group. I don't know if you're on Facebook or not. But please, if you if you would like to, I will put in the notes in the description of this podcast. I will put a link to the Facebook group ( https://www.facebook.com/groups/mamasredefinesuccess/ ) where you can come and join us. It's called 100 days of less hustle and more Jesus. And what's really funny about that is, you know. Here I am talking about the busyness and all of the things. And this this devotional is talking about, though resting.  getting your rest from God right like not stopping right, not you get your rest from God. God is the only one who can give us that peace and that rest. And so this devotional. I haven't been through it yet, so I don't exactly know but but it is 100 days of less hustle and more Jesus, and it is no matter what bring what life brings your way, God longs for you to rest in him, knowing that he is always with you, always loving you, and always looking out for your best interest. So that is just a snippet from the back of this book, you guys, I feel like it's gonna be a powerful journey. It's something I just decided to do. I felt like I was led to do it, and I just decided to do it for sure last week. And so I made it happen. I made the Facebook page. I'm still trying to figure out if anyone knows and wants to send my way, how you go live  like on Zoom, but stream it into your Facebook group that would be amazing. So that I can like interact with people, and so that it can be recorded. And all of that stuff without just doing like a Facebook live cause I feel like that. Doesn't really work. I think you have to do like the zoom connection. So I'm gonna figure it all out, and I would love for you to join us. Join us at any time like it's a hundred day. I'm probably gonna do it. I'm committing to at least 2 times a week. That will do it. Live in the group. I'm hoping that you know people will contribute and be there live, but if you can't, it'll be there like so that you can go back and watch it.
  • Because again, I know we're all busy, and you may not be available at the time we do it, but I think
    The first day will for sure be next week I will stay tuned. I will give you more details, but I would love to have you join us there. So with that y'all, I will see you next week.
  
  

Welcome back mamas, or welcome to any new mamas we may have listening to us today. Today, I so much of this week has been about the eclipse. Right? The eclipse happened on Monday and I don't know about you, but where I am we are very close in proximity to where the totality, like my house was actually in the 99% you know of of where you would be able to see the total eclipse. And so we didn't actually travel. We just decided to stay home and watch the eclipse from here. But there's just been so much talk about the eclipse, and I was thinking about it today, and I wanted to just think I wanted to share with you, my thoughts on. I don't know all these different lessons and things that I was like learning from the eclipse because I first well, I'm gonna start with a quote, right? I always start with a quote. So I'm gonna start with a quote. This one was from Edward Everett Hail. and he says, I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something, and I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.

• So the reason how that relates to the eclipse you guys, is because I was thinking about the sheer size of the sun and then the size of the moon. And I was like, how is it even possible that it gets because where I was it got like dark now? It didn't get completely dark again. I was only in 99% so it but it got it got pretty dark to the point where, like the neighbor's lights are on a trigger that they come on when it gets dusk.
• The lights pop on, and like their lights, popped on. It was. It was dark, right? And so, if you think about it, the moon and I looked it up. So the moon is like is like 2,000 miles around like it's about 2,000 miles in diameter.
• and the sun is like 800 and something 1,000 like 864,000 miles in diameter, and the moon is 2,160 miles in diameter. Now think about that. So the moon is, for the sun is 400 times as big as the moon is, but the moon gets into a position where it can block the sun's light from reaching the earth. This 800,000 Mile star in the sky. This little moon can block all of its light from getting to earth. Right for this, you know for a few minutes right? And I started to think about how things affect us right like. And so you know that first quit that I started with how you're only one. But you are one right, like the moon should not be able to block all that sunlight from us. But it can.
• It can right. It is only one small object, but it is positioned exactly, you know, exactly, properly. And I think what I also learned is that it's also the sun is also 400 times further away from the earth as the moon is, and so that is why it can get in such a position where it can completely block the sun's light from getting to us is because of the positioning and because of how the perspective right? And so I talked about perspective a few weeks ago, and how everything can change the way you look at things can change, depending on how you look at them. Right? The thing doesn't actually change. But the way that you look at it changes right. And this is so true with just this relationship that happens between the moon and the sun. And you know it makes me think about our lives right? And how you know, one little thing that we do in our life can have a big impact on our entire life. Or one little thing that we do for our children or you know, just sometimes we tend to think that these small things that we do can't have a big impact, but it can, right? And especially if it's positioned in the right way, or if we use it in the right way if we're looking at it with the right perspective, right? Things that are small can make a big difference. And so that was like the first lesson that I was like. Oh, my gosh, this is crazy! It's crazy to think that this small little thing can have such a big impact and can like the temperature the temperature here that it dropped like it was. You know, I we were outside. It was like in the seventies. And then all of a sudden, like my mom and I were like chilly.
• We were like. Oh, my gosh! It's kind of cold! And the kids. Of course they weren't chilly. My dad was like, Oh, not cold, but it was like a chill was in the air like you and they could. They all said that they definitely could feel the temperature change. It's just they didn't get chilly. It's just me and my mom, you know, we get chilly all the time, and so and so we were kind of chilly. But everyone could feel the temperature change and the impact that that sun has, but also that led me to think about how something so small could block something so great and something so impactful, and something that is just so beautiful and gorgeous, and has such a huge impact on this world. How something so small could also have the ability to block that big thing like, even though it's shining right. This little small thing can block it. And can you know? It was completely pitch black in the path of totality, right like, if you were at that right perspective. You got a complete blackout right like it was like it was night and the temperature I'm sure there was like a huge difference between when it was blocked and when it wasn't right. And so it makes me also think about how you know we can be blocked by shining our light or being our true selves, or you know, we can be blocked by small little things that we are focusing, or we are letting blocking us from. We're letting block us from shining our light right?
• And how just that slight little shift of the small thing can make a huge difference of you being able to shine your light right? And so it's all about perspective. You guys, I hope this is landing cause I was like having all these revelations this morning. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, I gotta do a whole podcast episode on the way, that this was like hitting me because I'm going to also read another thing. Cause this is like, I was thinking about how this is all about the moon, right? It wasn't necessarily about the eclipse, but how the moon looks different, depending on where it is in the sky, and how the moon size never actually changes, but the way that it looks in the sky. It looks like it's bigger, depending on where it is. And so it's all about perspective again, right? Like it's all about perspective and
• like I was. I was looking it up because I was like, is the moon ever bigger, like in some respects, than it is in others like it, is it? Is it ever bigger at some times than it is at others? And what I found was, it says, no, it's not ever bigger. It just appears to be bigger. It appears to be bigger when it is closer to the horizon, or when it is closer to the earth.
• It appears to be bigger. And I was like thinking about. That's how our problems are right like. So they appear to be bigger, depending on how we're looking at them and depending on how close we are to them. So the moon is actually no bigger when it's all the way up in the sky than it is when it's by the horizon. But it's our brain that is actually making the moon bigger. appears bigger, like we would swear that it's bigger, because maybe it's closer to us. We could think right like. But no, it's not. It's actually not closer to us. It is actually not bigger. It is our brain making it look bigger when it's on the horizon, or when you can, you know. Say, you can see trees, or you can see mountains, or you can see whatever. And you can also see the moon like behind it, and how big it can look at that point, and then when it gets up in the sky, and it looks way smaller. It's never bigger. Now. There are times of night where our times of the year, or whatever where the moon is further away, and of course at that point it would look smaller, but it's never bigger, like on the same night when it's on the horizon, and then, when it's fully up in the air, it's the exact same size, it never is bigger. Right? And so this leads me to another quote by Marcus Aurelius, where it says, everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. And you got these. I was like, Wait, is that true? And then I started thinking about it. And I'm like, yes, everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact, like
• we can prove anything. I think I've talked about this on another podcast. Episode, how no matter, what you believe, you can find evidence to make that true like. If you want to believe a fear of yours, if you want to believe you know whatever you want to believe, you can go out and find evidence backing up. Why, that is truth.
• and you will find it. You will find what you're looking for, and so everything we hear is an opinion and not a fact like
• everything. Now. you know, I'm not saying like E equals Mc. Squared like does not like, you know. I'm not saying that scientific facts aren't indeed like true, there are scientific facts, but what I'm saying is everything we hear out of people's mouths is an opinion, not a fact. Right again, not talking about scientific like truths here, but
• it is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is perspective, not the truth. So everything changes the way that you look at it, the way you look at things change. What is actually it? What it is that you're actually seeing. So it is a perspective. It is not the truth, just like the moon isn't bigger when it's on the horizon that it is when it's in the middle of the sky. It's just how our brain is perceiving it with relationship, and our brain is only able to process things. It has to have other things to go by. So our brain processes, all the things we're seeing at the same time.
• Right? And so, if you like, I I saw this article that said something like, if you put your index finger up next to your eye, or Alex to like and block the other things and put your index finger up, or if you take your camera and let's just say you know, you put your camera in the same spot and on the same zoom and everything, and you take a picture of the moon, and then, when the moon moves to not being on the horizon, your camera has not moved, or anything takes the same picture. And you look at the 2 pictures. They're exactly the same size. It's just that it in relationship to
• the way that you see it on the horizon. It looks way different, you guys, and I'm sure you've seen those like illusions, those optical illusions like where you have them. And you look at them in books or on the Internet, like, if you're scrolling social media, and you're like, which line is longer or whatever, and how they put all these lines and depends on how your brain sees them. But the lines are actually the exact same length. It's just that your brain perceives one to be longer than the other, based on the things that are around it, right?
• And it's an optical illusion. And that is the same thing with life a lot of times, you know, depending on how close or far away you are to a problem depends on how big that problem seems to you. Right? It's the same problem. But sometimes you get to like, you know, you've heard the term sleep on it right? And so I feel like, that's always a good thing to do with problems or issues if you can. If you have the luxury of being able to sleep on it, because the further away you get from something the smaller. It seems the big problem that seemed like insurmountable. Today you might wake up tomorrow and be like. okay. That's actually not that big of deal. If you heard the podcast last week, like I was when I was talking about you know what happened with my daughter and getting into school and everything. And how we thought this was a huge problem right? And like we were so devastated and then wound up that it was like the best thing that could have happened right, and it was all perspective. It was like, Oh, my gosh! Like this is the way it was supposed to have happened right. And it was. It was a different day, but it looked that same situation looked completely different to us in a different light. Right? And so it is so like, I I was just going. I was like, Oh, my! Gosh! This morning I was just having Aha! Moment after Aha moment and I wanted to. I'm gonna throw one more quote in here, and then what end off? So it's a quick Dali quote. I love the Dahli Lama quotes. If you think you are too small to make a difference. Try sleeping in with a mosquito in the room. If you think you're too small to make a difference. Try sleeping with this mosquito in the room, you know, a mosquito was like minute, right? But like that thing can bite you and bite you, and you are gonna be annoyed. And you have this whole room. But the you know the mosquito is trapped in there with you right? It's already bitten you, and it's still there. And you're like, Oh, my gosh! It's just this tiny little thing. But you will not sleep.
• And if you do like, you're gonna be bit, and you're gonna be eating alive by the morning, right? And this small little thing has turned into this big, you know problem that you have to deal with with days for days, because you have all these bites right? But it's so true you are not too small to make a difference. And your problems, or the way you're looking at things, you know, is not too big for you to handle. And so I don't know this. This whole eclipse, the moon. Everything has everybody, you know, enamored with this. And as I was thinking about it this morning, I was like, Oh, my gosh! So many lessons that we could actually learn from the eclipse.
• and how it's so. It's so magnificent, right like. And everyone was so enamored with how this was able to
• come, you know into alignment, into alignment is another key right like. So you talk about how you want your life to be in alignment, right? And how. And I talk about it, anyway, and I talk about how I hate the word balance right? Cause you can never balance all of the things. What I try to be in is aligned flow right aligned flow. And it was just so.
• you know, yesterday, when the earth and the moon and the sun were all aligned in such a way that the the power
• of the sun was completely blocked by the moon, which is 400 times smaller than it, and we on the earth felt that
• with a temperature change, with a light change like all, it impacted us like my dog was crying like it started to get a little bit dark, and she was just outside with us, and she was just like immediately, like unsettled right? I heard people say that they were like nauseous, and they were super tired, because, you know, our Circadian rhythms, like they all get thrown off when things like this happen right? Because our bodies are used to things being a certain way, and when things aren't that way a lot of times, we don't know what to do with that. And so, you know, our body can actually get sick from it right?
• And this goes not just for the moon, you guys, this goes for when your life is out of alignment, or when you aren't aligned with the way you're behaving, or you know I remember back to when I had littles at home, and I still have littles right like they're 9 and 11, but they're a lot older now. And this was when they were like both at home with me, or maybe one was at preschool, and one was at home. and I had found myself in a place where I was completely out of alignment, like I had always defined myself by my work. I had always, you know, had all of this
• things that were outside of me to pour myself into, and now I was pouring myself into my children right, but, like my whole world. well my world still revolves around them right? But like it was seriously all in them where I didn't have anything for myself right like I was out. I felt out of alignment. I felt like I was missing a part of me right, and I couldn't be the best mom that I could be right because that alignment wasn't happening because I was out of alignment. And it wasn't until I figured all of it out right. And that's what I I you know I try to help people do is to figure all of them out that out for themselves, because I feel like the more people I talk to, the more that resonates with people, and that same exact feeling that they are out of alignment. And it's just getting back and discovering that true North. and figuring out what alignment looks like for you and aligned flow. Looks like for you, and being able to, you know, use that as your true North as what you're striving for. And when you can do that, it's amazing. It's amazing how you know, just like the eclipse was amazing. It's amazing the impact that that can have in your life and how much that can affect your life.
• So I had no idea where this was gonna go today, you guys, I just knew I had some lessons that I was feeling that I wanted to share with you. I hope it landed. I hope you got something from this and till next week. Y'all I'll talk to you soon.

welcome back, mamas, or welcome to any new mamas we have with us today. You guys, I am like ta taking a break from regularly scheduled programming. No, that's not. That's not it. But I am actually recording an extra podcast. This week because of the life lessons that I've learned over the last couple of weeks and just the perspective that I've gained from those lessons and from just the way that we're dealing with it reacting to it. And just I think it's so powerful. And I wanted to make sure that I shared it while it was still raw and fresh. And you know. Maybe I'll go back and tweak it when I have some even more perspective or add to it. but I feel like it could be a great tool for us moms especially, and also for anyone really just in dealing with adversity and dealing with things that choices that we've made and the way things have turned out. I'm gonna start with my quote. Here we go. Here we go. My first quote is from Al Franken.

• and this says, mistakes are part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. And, you guys, I have been dealing with something. I've been in like Mama bear mode for this last week, like a week straight of like me, you know. Not really
• not really just protecting, but going into like fixer mode, trying to understand trying to like, you know, Fix, if I could, or reframe, or whatever the situation, so that we can move forward because about a week ago. And I think I actually talked about this on another podcast episode about my daughter. you know, wanting to go to a certain school for middle school, and then us, saying that was not an option for her because of just some things about the school itself.
• and us not wanting to expose her to that, and just not think that it's the best idea for her personally to go there. For a lot of reasons, but just for her. And so we had done. You know our research. At least we thought we had done our research right. We had done some research, and actually like in our community. There are some schools that are public schools that are thought of as like the best public schools around, and and things like that, and so of course, we were looking at those 2 schools and also we looked at one private school of a school we had toured a while back. Couple of years ago, actually and we had ruled out the one school just because some of families at that school were telling us some things that we didn't absolutely love. And so we had. It narrowed down to these 2 other schools. And Gabriella did not really like the tour of the one school. She didn't love the tour of the other school, either. But she actually liked some like she. She knew a couple of kids there. She liked some of the things we heard telling her about the school. and she had completely changed her frame of mind about going to this school, and we as parents like my husband and I really never considered that she wouldn't get into this school right? We knew that in the past it has been all about like your merits, and they used to test you in and you know you had to do all of these like it it was based on like like your academics, I feel like and We knew that Gabriella had the academics like I'm pretty sure there's like hardly anyone that could beat her in terms of academics. And then, you know, she's like the Vice president, student counsel, and she's a kindergarten mentor, and she's, you know, one of the main characters in their play this year for the school, and you know she plays basketball they were undefeated like. Not that matters, you guys, but like still things that would add to her like she's in, you know. She actually goes to sixth grade like she goes to a different school for sixth grade math, and is getting she got an a plus or first term, and then 96 or second term. You know, this is just a child who excels test taking into like. She scored off the charts.
• so it never crossed our mind that she wouldn't get into this school but we found out last Thursday. She did not get in, you guys, and it was like a devastating blow because we had put all of our eggs in that basket, and we were just
• in shock, right like we were just shocked. We I was like, oh, my gosh! I don't wanna tell her, because now I've convinced her that this is the school she needs to go to and I didn't convince her, but you know I gave her a lot of ammunition on. Why, it was a great school. I also gave her a lot of ammunition on. Why, this other school was a great school. But she did not feel that tour like she, just for whatever reason I think it was the of that school like it's a very. It's like 3 times the size of her school now, and this other school was like the same size as her school now, and so I think that was honestly like the reason she didn't like the other school. So anyway. back to the story, you guys, she didn't get in, and we were all devastated like I I was like I was like super emotional. I like literally went into Mama Bear like I was immediately like furious. And then I was like crying. I was like angry, sad, like. I didn't know what to think like we didn't play politics so we totally could have played politics. It was actually like a decision
• that I didn't really make intentionally like not telling I did tell like one of the people that I knew could put in a good word for us just to put in a good word for us. But I know how she is, and she's not like she's just. She's kind of like us, like she's just not. She's not going to play politics, she would definitely, you know, give her opinion and put and put in a good word for us, but like she's not going to play politics and and I and I didn't tell some other people I could have told to like. Really, you know, I just I'm the girl who, when I went to college, right when I went to go to college, I got reject. I only applied to one school.
• I knew where I wanted to go, since I was little. I absolutely loved the University of Kentucky, and I was going there, and I got my rejection letter, and I was like what no like. They only rejected me because
• of my act score and my act score was 1 point too low. And it was because my reading, my reading, you guys, I do not enjoy reading. I've talked about this before. I love reading self development. Self help, books, love stuff like that. But I do not like history. I don't like like I don't get into any of that, and I just don't want to read it, and I don't want to
• to read a novel like for fun like that is not fun for me. I love like, I said, reading, self-development books. But novels are not my game, you know, and so I did. Horrible on reading like the you know the reading, comprehension, the history part of things like I just did not do well on certain parts of my test, and I did really well in other parts of my test, and at the time my dad was kind of like a quote, unquote celebrity in the town that that that Uk is in, and so he could have easily pulled strings for me to get in. And I was like, absolutely not. You will not call anyone. You will not do anyone do anything. I'm going to go to what was called Sylvan Learning Center at the time, and I'm going to fix my grade, and I'm going to get in and on my own merits like I didn't want any help, you know whatever.
• So it was just like a principal thing for me, like I did not want him pulling strings to get me into college like I was getting into college right? So so I did that right, and I did. I went to Sylvan. I got my reading score up. I wound up, you know, a few points higher than I had had before, and I was higher. Then I needed to be to get into the school and then guess what they accepted me. And my dad did not pull any spring strings for me or anything, you guys. And I was so proud of that right. And Gabriella and I are a lot of you know, similar in a lot of ways. We're perfectionists, you know, like her dad, is that, too. So it's just like it's like.
• I didn't want her to ever think that she got in because of what we did for her. I wanted her to know she got in on her own right, and I honestly believe she would get in on her own, and I did not think that you needed to play politics in order to get in. And now I believe differently right? And so hey? If I could go back and do it again, though, you guys.
• I wouldn't, I wouldn't. And that is what brings me to my point this week. It's that we all learned a lesson this week, right? We learned a lesson that it's really hard. It's really hard. But guess what? Now we get to go and look at some of these other schools that we hadn't considered. And, you guys, I I went to. We went and looked at my Alma Mater, where I went to grade school. which I had honestly never considered for her, because of the fact that it is a Catholic school, and we are no longer Catholic, and I believed you had to be a parishioner in order to go there and even if you didn't. I wasn't really sure like how you know, that would feel for her and everything. So we just kind of had ruled it out. And then there was another. 2 other schools, one Catholic, also one Christian, that I was just like, these are really good schools. We should look into them. And so we've toured 2 of the 3 schools. One actually didn't even get back to us. But we toured 2 of these other schools this week, and we really like both schools like. And so now she's gonna shadow. And we're looking back at the first school thinking.
• why did we even think this was the best school like the way that we were treated there the way. You know, when we went on their tour, and then through like the process of emails and things like that like it all? Didn't we? Didn't love it right like we didn't love anything really about the school other than like what their you know what their academic record is, and then what some families had told us about the school. Right? And so, you know, we know it's a good school like, we know it's a good school, but it was it the best school for her? And again, I'm thinking, no, now, and now you know how you hear. Rejection is God's protection right like. I now truly believe that this was God who, like came and on our behalf, did this. But you guys my point in telling you. All of this is just that we could have been so
• caught up in the fact that we didn't get in. And there is another opportunity like th where possibly you could get in in the summer, like if you wait for like the second round, or whatever for her to get in, and we could have tried to make that happen. And Yada Yada Yada. But, like I, I at this point am realizing that that was actually the best thing for her.
• It was for us not to get in, and it was a really like hard life lesson. And the other thing I wanted to say is we get to choose, and I know you all hear me talking about this a lot, too, but we get to choose how we deal with.
• and the attitude that we take towards things that happen to us right, and instead of choosing to just like, Go this battle and try to figure out why she didn't get in, and which I did try to figure out why she didn't get in. And and I did actually get an answer and it and it's it.
• I don't know if it's even true. But you know they they said something about it's not a big deal like, you know. I don't know if it's true or not it what that doesn't even matter. What matters is that I could have taken all my time and energy and put it into that. and, you know, been like, let's fix this and whatever, instead of tuning in to myself and being like, I got quiet, I started praying, and I was like, Okay, did this happen for a reason? What are some other schools? Let's try to see. And let's try to fix this because I could have also said, Okay. Gabriella. Now let's really go back and look at this other middle school that you toured and and let's let's go there, you know. And instead, I was like, well, maybe this all happened for a reason. Let's look at what we haven't looked at before.
• And you guys, these these schools are both really good schools. Like, you know, I'm like 100% of the kids coming out of this one school. Got 100% of them got a college scholarship because this school goes all the way through twelfth grade. And I was like, what like 100% of the kids getting, you know, scholarships to a school is kind of crazy, right? And then the other school, you know, is only elementary.
• But what I found about out about their programs, and everything are super impressive, and a lot has changed in the way they run the school and the way that things have gone. You know, and it just it. It just opened my eyes to like. You really need to always know that you have a choice with how you deal with things, and you have a choice
• of, you know, tuning in and figuring out like for you what is the best solution like? What is the best way to deal with something when life gets hard. When you get thrown a curve ball, when something like this happens, do you just shut down. Do you go into like anger? Sadness, like. you know? Take a minute, feel your feelings right. I always talk about that like feel your feelings, but then make a decision to not stay there, to not stay in those feelings, to actually figure out what you're gonna do about it, and then go do it. Take the action to, you know, make the the situation better in one way or another. And so I found when I was looking at this you know, for quotes, this isn't actually a quote. It's more like a poem. But I'm gonna read it real quick, because it says choice is the most powerful tool. We have.
• Everything boils down to choice. We exist in a field of infinite possibilities. Every choice we make shuts an infinite number of doors, and opens an infinite number of doors at any point. We can change the direction of our lives by a simple choice. It is all in our hands, our hearts and our minds.
• Y'all, when I read that I was like, wow! That is so unbelievably true. We every choice that we make like, not just.
• you know, things like this that are big, but every choice we make shuts, doors. and it opens doors right. And we have to believe. And I believe that even when you shut a door. if that door was supposed to be the one that you were, you were supposed to take, that door will wind up opening at a different point in time. Right?
• It wasn't the right door for you at that time, but it will wind up, reopening at a different point in time when you are ready to receive it. When you are ready for that door to be there. If something is truly meant to be, it will wind up being anyway, right? And so that is why I believe that we need to make choices. We need to make decisions in our lives for ourselves to not be fearful right to not live in the fear of choosing the wrong thing like tune in, make a choice, and move forward, and we can get so overwhelmed when it comes to our children, because we're not choosing for ourselves, we're choosing for them. And so like this was super devastating to me like this one. Shi situation with the school was super devastating to me because I felt like it was my fault, and I was the one who prevented her from going there, because I chose to not use like people outside like to help us to get into the school.
• But I really feel like that I I I can't blame myself for that either. Right like that's the choice that I made, and that is, it did shut doors, probably right, but it also opened up all these other doors right? And if she really meant to go there like, it'll happen again. But I just don't think that's the case. I don't think that that is the case. I do not believe it. I believe that she was meant to be somewhere else.
• and you just have to go with your gut, and I believe your gut is God, and you know you have to go internal. You have to pray about it. You have to do whatever it is that you do to get in tune with. You know I'm not saying, make haphazard decisions, haphazard decisions. I'm just saying to tune in and then trust yourself, your mom.
• your mom body, your mom brain, your mom heart, your mom. Gut it knows it knows what decision you should make, and then walk forward in that decision like with in stride, like, just take it like it's supposed to happen. And like I said, things might wind up opening themselves. you know, up in a in a later for you later, if that really was a choice that you were supposed to make in the other direction. So it wasn't a choice that you were supposed to make right now, like it just wasn't like you wouldn't have been ready to see receive it, even if you had made that choice now.
• So just know that the timing is always right if you're tuning in. So I just really wanted to speak to you guys about this, because I know a lot of times, especially as mothers, we get caught in our own head about these decisions. We make bigger deals about them than we should be, and we should just be trusting ourselves. Because.
• you know, if it's a decision for ourselves, that's a big decision, that's one thing, but when it's a decision for our child, it's a super big thing, right? And we always feel like, responsible or like we have failed them, or something, if we've made the wrong decision. And you know what. I just believe that that is just not true. And I thought that that was something that needed to be shared today. And so I wanted to share that. There was one more quote that I had the the I should have put it in in the middle. I'll go ahead and read it just because there's some people that might be in this spot right now that need to hear this, but I'll go ahead and read it, and then we'll end so when you fall. The grace of allowing yourself to just lay there resting in the mess for a while before rising again can be the most tender form of self-care. Practice it. And this was from somebody who does the it's like a I don't know. It's called sweat pants and coffee. I don't know what our name is. It's like Hoffman, Nene Hoffman. And you guys, I think that you know when you are, when you have that moment where you have fallen, where you have. you have had that moment where it's hard, and you feel like maybe you did make the wrong choice, or maybe you did do something wrong. I'm not saying like I said before, to just S. To just not feel the feelings like sometimes feeling those feelings like, she said, can be the most tender form of self care, because you're allowing yourself to feel like what you're truly feeling. You're not trying to just shove it down and then move forward like. Sometimes you really need to feel the feelings and then get quiet and tune in and say, Okay, now, what? Now? What? Right?
• So I just feel like that might have been something that someone needed to hear. And so I wanted to make sure I touched on that. But, you guys, I hope you get my heart today. You know, no matter what happens, believe that it's happening for you. Trust your gut and make choices that you believe to be right for you and for your children. So with that. Y'all, I will talk to you next week.