You Are Worthy

​Hey, Mama, welcome back. I have such a great topic today. I have actually been struggling with this topic. Like recording this topic because I know it's going to take me to a place of vulnerability. It's going to be an amazing like if you stick with me through this, it might push some of your buttons, but I believe it will be something that you need to hear, something that you may not even know you're struggling with. And something that could really be life changing if you can just figure a way to get it into your body, into your bones, into your life, into your soul, and what is it? It is worthiness, worthiness, worthiness. And 

this is a topic that the reason that I say it's like can be touchy is because I feel like we all, in one way or another lack the feeling that we are worthy of something, whether that be love or whatnot. I I'm going to start again with a quote. So I'm going to use Brenna Brown. Love her if you do not know her. This quote When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness is a birthright and not something you have to earn. Anything is possible. Y'all that's deep, right? When you get to a place, when you understand that love and belonging is your birthright, that is your worthiness. Like when you lack worthiness, you essentially are lacking love, You're lacking belonging. You feel that you are not enough for something. And you guys, if I go way back like back to when I was growing up through my 20s, whatever, I always felt like I was worthy of everything. Like I I had this, you know, I just got off of in any any Agram panel where I was speaking to my any Agram type which is an 8. And we are like doers. We are leaders. We are. I forget what that actually is. I think the challenger. So we like to challenge people like I I've said before that I'm a devil's advocate. Like I like to challenge people's opinions. I would have made a good lawyer probably, right? Like so 

I am have always been like this driver, this doer, you know, wanting to achieve things and have always felt like I was worthy of massive success. Like, I really believed that until I didn't. And it's funny because, like, it's not funny, but it is just life. Life comes at us, and things and circumstances that happen to us in our life, they mold who we are. And so while growing up, I had an amazing childhood, you know, I was always told that, you know, I was, I was smart, I was talented, I was pretty. I was, you know, all these encouraging things that people say to you. And I was loved and I was, you know, my mom had decided to stay home with me when when I was little. And so, like, I had someone who was there for me. So I didn't, I guess, struggle with worthiness until later in life. And you know, I call this podcast, Mom is ready to find success. Because if you, you know, rewind my life back to before children, I felt like success was it was all about me, right? Like it was it was my success. You know, success to me was what was going to happen to me or I was always a giver. So, you know, I wanted to make more, earn more so that I could give more, so that I could have more but also give more. Like I I'm not really huge into material possessions like I love to shop and things like that. But you know, you don't usually see me going and buying big purchases or spending a lot of money. I love bargain shop, but I'm not a big spender. And even when I was making, you know, six figures when 

I was single and had no responsibilities other than myself, I was saving a lot. And you know, doing, doing, doing, achieving, you know, always wanting more success and success at the time looked like, you know, a certain level of sales or, you know, how many people were in my programs or, you know, how was this performing or that performing. Like the different different times, different things. Was I winning awards? Was I winning contest? Was I winning, you know, trips? You know, was I winning all of these things? Like, it used to be all about that. And like I said, I still have this giving heart and I wanted to give away more and I wanted to save more and I wanted to, you know, be able to do what I wanted to do. But it was more about me. And then after kids, it became a completely different version of what success look like for me. And it now it looks more like, you know, I want to have the money so that I can have the experiences with my kids. Just the lifestyle that we want, it's not so we can have more things, It's more so we can travel, so I can hire a cleaner to clean my house. And I have to, don't have to do that, you know, I can give more. I want to give back in a big way. Like, I don't feel like I'm doing enough in that area. Like, I should be making more so that I can give more, so that I can. Like I actually want to start a charity. So I have all these big dreams now. But success looks way different to me now than it did before. And I've kind of gone off on this success tangent. And I think one of the reasons, and I'm just kind of like realizing it right now, is that my worthiness used to be tied to success and what that definition was. 

And a lot of people's worthiness is tied to success. And that should not, you know, that should not be what your worthiness is tied to. You are worthy simply because you are, simply because you deserve to be loved. You deserve to feel that sense of belonging. You deserve everything that you want in your life. You deserve that you are worthy of it. You are worthy. Like I want you to say that over and over to yourself in the mirror. Like I am worthy and you can insert anything after it. Like I am worthy of massive success. That was hard. That's a that's an affirmation that I have posted on my mirror still today. And it when I started saying it, it was hard for me to say it because like I started to say before years ago, I believed that. But then over time what happens is circumstances in your life kind of knock you down pegs, right? Like or people that come into your life. Like in my instance I was in an abusive relationship. Like, I won't say abusive physically, but very mentally abusive. So emotionally abusive. And this person would say things that, you know, we're very harsh, very hard to hear, very degrading, very much made me feel unworthy. And you know, even when they would like, they were so manipulative and doing such it or doing this in such a way that it was like sometimes they would give me these great compliments but also follow it with with things that were very mean. And a lot of times the compliments were backhanded and making me think that me wanting more or me, you know, winning things or getting, you 

know, if I won a sales contest or if I if I was the best, you know, whatever. Making me feel bad for that, making me feel like you know, that I that I was acting like I was better than other people, which I've never thought I was better than other people. But I've always wanted to win and I've always had that drive and wanted to be the best at everything that I do. And it's not about about like being better than anyone else. I believe that we are all equal. And you know, I do not believe that we're, I'm better than anyone else. I believe that you know if this goes back to the worthiness like we are all breathing the same air we all were given, you know, a heart that beats. God has made us all unique, unique, but He has made us all innately worthy. We are all just as worthy as the next person, no matter what their life circumstances have looked like. We are just as worthy. We are no better than another human like I I just I that's it's the core belief of mine, and I truly believe that we all struggle with worthiness and thinking we are worthy, especially when it comes to things that we want for ourselves. Especially as mothers like this applies to everyone, but especially as mothers, we tend to put everyone's needs before hours and we again don't feel worth certain things. Like, you know, if this isn't done or if this doesn't happen, then I'm not worthy. And you know, I I a lot of times will get to the end of the day or used to get to the end of the day and look at what I had done for the day and been like, gosh, I didn't get anything done and felt like a failure. I felt, 

you know, like I wasn't worth, you know, like I wasn't a good mom. Like, I I wasn't worthy of having that title. Like of mom. Like, why do I even have kids? Like, when I was in a depression, I kind of felt like that, like, why do I even have kids? Or why, you know, did was I allowed to bring children into this world? And I didn't even feel worthy of having the children. You know, God gave me these kids, and I'm like, why was I, you know, blessed with these kids? Like, I don't even deserve to have these children. I can't even get myself out of bed or whatever it was. And, you know, at different places in my life, I've felt different levels of unworthiness. And you know what I really came to realize just over the past couple of years doing a lot of deep dives into this specifically, is that a lot of people, not just me, feel that we are unworthy of making a lot of money. And I think that I think that women in general have been made to feel like they have these certain roles in society, in their family hierarchies, in, you know, the men always bring, you know, they're the breadwinners, right? Like that's what we used to call the men the breadwinner, right. And the woman was the homemaker, right. And that kind of flipped. The script has flipped a little bit. And now you will see a lot of women making more money than their husbands or even husbands staying home with the kids nowadays. But there's a lot of society that believes that the male is the one who makes the money. And women don't feel worthy of making that kind of money. I know that like you know when I was single and I was making a lot of money it was you know sometimes told to me that it was intimidating 

that I made that kind of money and you know men didn't want to didn't want to date someone who made more money than them. And you know all these things and these, I don't know things that have been said to you, things the way society are, they play a role in how you're conditioned and then what you internally like believe about yourself and you somehow take on that unworthiness. And I know that happened to me. I know that happened to me. And I I want to just say today, if you are someone who desires to be a millionaire, then you are worthy of that. Like you should take the steps and become a millionaire. It is something that you can do. It is something that you are worthy of. And if you have that desire, like if that is something that is a true desire, like it's not just like everyone would love to be a millionaire, right? No, This is like an actual want of yours. you feel like you were meant to be a millionaire and make make a year, make in a month, who knows? You know, you might have that desire. If that is seriously something that is super important to you, you should pursue it. You are worthy of it. No matter what anyone has told you in your life, you are worthy of it. You are worthy of, you know, it couldn't be as simple as, like you are worthy of taking a shower. There was times in my life where I didn't even feel like I could take a shower and I honestly didn't feel like I was worth being clean. Like I was so depressed that I didn't even feel, worthy enough to be clean. I didn't have any desire. I was like, I'm gross, you know, all these things and you just, you just like, stopped like caring about that kind of stuff, which is completely crazy to me now when I think about that, but it's 

so true. Like I didn't feel worthy of it at the time. And there are people right now that probably feel that way. And I want to tell you, you are worthy. You are worthy. Every single human is worthy of being clean. Every single human you are, you are worthy of it and you are worthy of whatever is in your heart. So those were very big extremes, A millionaire and then taking a shower. But I think you guys get my point. Like we need to check into like really sit and take some time. And you know, it took me a lot of years and a lot of work, but I just wanted to plant the seed today about the fact that you, if you take a look in your past, if you take a look at what you know, what your body is telling you, like what your heart is saying right now, like what your gut is saying about you. You know how you're feeling and you know if you feel worthy or if you lack that worthiness in your life. And if you need help in any way, please, please reach out to someone. If you have no one to reach out to, you know, or you can't afford a therapist or anything like that, please reach out to me. I would love to figure out a way to help you, but I just want you to know that you are worthy. I also want to share another quote because, you know, worthiness, it can be something that I I said. It's conditioned, you know, like you being unworthy is conditioned and it can start at a very young age, you know, if you didn't feel worthy. Like I said, I had kind of a blessed childhood. But there are many people who in order to feel worthy, they had to do things or achieve things in order 

to feel like they could receive love. And they, you know, whether it was getting a good grades at school or playing sports and being the best that their sport, they didn't feel loved unless they were, unless they were performing, unless they were getting those good grades, unless they were, you know, being the best at the sport that they were in and winning and all of those things. And they didn't feel loved unless they were doing that, unless they were achieving that. And so for those kind of people, worthiness is like a wound that, you know, their whole life they have spent trying to achieve things in order to feel that love and to feel that worthiness. And this quote that I'm going to share next is from I'm going to butcher this name. But Elizabeth Kubler Ross, I think it is. And it says the ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. And that is so true. It is very true that you first of all, we can't give unconditional love to someone else unless we have unconditional love ourselves. Unless we feel that for ourselves, we cannot give it to someone else, which may be really hard to hear, especially if you have children. But it is really it. It is true. Like we put a lot of times we put conditions on our love, right? And I'm not blaming parents here, right? Like if your parents did that to you where you were the kind of person who unless you were achieving or doing or you didn't feel love unless something else happened, it may be really hard for you to also not 

do that to other people. So you have to kind of figure out and go deep and peel back the layers to figure out like what you can do to love yourself. Because we first have to love ourself in order to love other people. And when you love yourself then you will be able to know it's a knowing that you are worthy like. You just know that you're worthy. You were born. God put you on this planet. He believes you are worthy. He you know, I, I, I don't know how many of you are believers, but I believe that he sent his Son here to die on a cross for us. Because we are all worthy of that, each and everyone. Like Jesus didn't die for just one person. He died for every single person, which includes you. So I want you to know today that God thinks you're worthy, He believes you are worthy, and so you need to believe you're worthy. And a lot of times it starts with the love, our own selflove, and giving that to yourself so that you can be a better mom, so that you can unconditionally love your children and not pass on those things to your kids that were passed on to you. And remember, your mom and your dad, they were daughters and sons as well, right? And so the reason that they did what they did was probably because that was done to them, right? And so we just have to give grace to other people. So you have all the grace. I am not judging. I have been where you are. I actually, you know, didn't realize that I was feeling unworthy and that I didn't feel like I really loved myself at some point. Once I became a mother, it 

didn't come out until, like, I went through my deep depression. But like, I realized that I was doing things where I was projecting things onto my children. So So I'm just saying that as a mother, it's really important for you to check in to your love for yourself, your worthiness, to make sure that you know that you are worthy so that you can pass that on to your kids. Because we all want our kids to know that they are worthy of anything that they want. They are worthy of whatever their little heart desires, right? But so are you. you are worthy of, whatever your heart desires. And I just want you to know that if you don't know that from anyone else, please hear it from me. And it's really not from me. Like I I can't give that kind of validation, but please trust that God believes that you are worthy and I believe that you are worthy. And so you need to believe in yourself and know that you are worthy. So I hope this helps someone today. I know it was kind of a deep topic and we can all use this type of encouragement in our lives. There's always things that we can do to improve our image of ourselves. And Affirmations is 1 big way for me, so I will follow up. Maybe that's what the next podcast episode will be about is about affirmations and how I use those I kind of went off on a couple of tangents there, but I want to wrap it up and just say I hope you know that you are worthy and if you need any encouragement in that area, I would love to hear from you. Please reach out to me on social media. like you can look in the notes section. I will have ways that you can contact 

me through this podcast wherever you're listening. And I would love to hear from you any feedback that you have, but especially if you need help in this area. All right. Till next time, y'all.