Taking Responsibility ~ Episode 13 ~ 11/30/23

​Hey Mama's, welcome back. I am really excited about this topic you guys. I can't actually believe that haven't talked about this topic until now because I'm so passionate about this. It's something that actually what I'm give read. You know, I always start a quote. Well today, I'm gonna start with like a long quote or more like a poem kind of but it is a poem that I have had hanging on my place business since I started back in. I don't really want date myself but a long time ago as as I graduated college and started my first job. I hung this poem on my desk and everywhere. I went since then including in this office in my where I am right now. This is hanging and I have lived by this for so long and so I'm really excited to And upon because I'm gonna read you the poem we're gonna talk about it, but it's not just what this poem says. It's something else that happened today that made me even take this thinking to another level so Here we go. First of the poem which is called attitude by Charles Swindoll and I don't even remember like Charles Swindoll. I he's a preacher. Honestly. This is not like I had no He was a Christian or anything when I pulled this poem and he's an author but I didn't read any of his books that I'm to my knowledge my remembering I don't know where I saw this but the second saw it. I printed it out. I actually rewrote it and like colored on it and everything. can still remember the paper actually think I still have the original paper. I
 
have since Rewritten it but it's in I think a drawer mine. But anyway, I digress so it's called attitude. And it like this the longer I live the more I realize the impact of attitude on life attitude to me is more important than the past then education then money then circumstances then failures then successes. Then what other people think or say or do it is more important than appearance giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company a church a school a home. The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude. We will Embrace for that day. We cannot change the past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it with you. We are in charge of our attitudes. y'all If that is not so true, then I don't know what it because it is so important. Our attitude is so important and the best part about it is is that we get to control it. And even when we are faced whatever we're faced with we get to choose how we react to it. And so while I have talked about that in the past what I have this realization today is I was listening to our I'm a brand partner for a company a Lifestyle brand and were having our weekly like update call that we and the founder was talking about taking responsibility and that's exactly what we're gonna talk about today. So taking responsibility.
 
So and she was just talking about how you when you take responsibility you're in control just like our attitude right and we get to choose if we take responsibility or not, but when you don't take responsibility when blame others, you are actually giving them your control. It's kind like even forgiveness right and forgiveness works the same way. Like if you don't forgive someone you're actually punishing yourself by Forgiving that person and just like blaming someone else actually gives them control and it doesn't give you the control because you're not taking any responsibility. So even if that person has The you some responsibility and I'm they do they have their responsibility, but you also have yours and so we have to actively choose to accept that responsibility and whatever it is that we're facing that up against that we're dealing with in our daily lives as moms that can a right? We have a on our plates, right and so, you maybe your husband forgot to take out the trash maybe your child forgot to pick their shoes. Maybe that happens like to mine ever. Remember to pick the shoes. No, they're just dream about no matter where they came in or when they decided to have hazardly take them their feet, but I digress so it is just about taking responsibility for the way that you react to that and you know, do you scream and do you take the shoes and them where they belong or do you you know make them come and get the shoes? Even where they like let them be and take make them take responsibility by comment taking the shoes right and putting them where they are. Like if you haven't set up a system in place like hey, you know take some responsibility in that Like let's set up a system. This is what we with the shoes that are you when you come in the
 
this is they go. And if you already have a system then what your consequence right? Like if your shoes aren't where they're supposed be. So this just a very small example of ways that you can take responsibility even when it's not necessarily, you your thought that the shoes are there. However, what responsibility can you take in that moment? When you recognize that this not Behavior. You to have happening right? What responsibility can you take in that moment to get a different result next time to you have them take a bit of ownership and responsibility themselves. Like what can you do in that moment? So, you with the attitude quote the responsibility is the same exact way and it's so is relating to one another that was like I was just kind I don't why my mind was blown today, but was like, oh gosh it is so true because when get in the daily of your life, you can blame all these other people and especially you guys going into the holidays. You can start to think that you you just have so much going on. There's so things like you have to get this done. There's shopping, you there's a of things that do every day in life, but around the holidays there tends be number one more going on and then number two more that you're responsible for because you if you're buying gifts that you're you you're buying gifts for the kids you're buying gifts for your spouse you're buying gifts for you know in laws, you're buying gifts for whomever ever you're buying gifts for but it's not just like one birthday present right? It's everybody gets a gift all at the time. Is probably extra, you things that you're committed to in the evenings or Christmas parties or you for us it's like choir performances Dance with dance performances different things that happening that don't happen at all. The times of year that are all kind concentrated
 
into the holidays. And so in to deal with that we need to have some tools, right we need to have some coping strategies and we need to maybe set some things in and maybe take some responsibility instead of you screaming because you're at your Wit's End, you know, maybe now is the that you think okay, what could I have done differently or what could I do to prevent that next time? and you I think Jen that's the founder. She was talking about a canoe, right and she had a whole different, you way that she was talking about this but it all about, you where co-creating and working together and all of this but it made me think of a time where my dad and I we took my daughters individually one at time out in a kayak on this like what's it called? I know. It's like an inlet of water right? It's not the ocean but it is called sound. That's what it is. It's in the Outer Banks and we were there and we were on this kayak and you know, my dad had an or and I had an hour and he in front and I was in back and you know, I was trying to guide him on what where we were going right? I telling him what to Well, he his own plan of what to do and you when we kind started getting further out and You my child wanted to turn around because she started to get kind nervous. We were my dad was cutting kind of starting to panic because like the canoe or the kayak wasn't going the way we wanted it the the current of the water was cheat was changing a bit and it was like pulling us where we didn't want to be and there like an area where we definitely didn't want go and you know, I was trying to tell him we oh, we each had our own or right.
 
So if one person only had an hour then we just go in a circle right like and that's what kind Jen was talking about and but we each had an and you he wasn't doing what I told him to do. Right? Like he like kind panicking thinking he knew better what to All and so he was doing what he thought he should do. Right? And so I finally gave up telling him what he should do and I just, you know reacted to what he was doing. So if he doing the thing that told him not to that I to do the opposite or whatever or I had to like figure out what he doing and I had to do the opposite thing or or the thing I knew was gonna make us move and I'd Dad now, do you see we're doing this or whatever and I'd be okay, so listen to me and so, you know, I had to I took responsibility right I could just kept screaming at him to change what was doing to do what wanted him do but instead because he was like panicking I like, okay no, Danielle. What can do to change the situation? And what I could do was I could change what I was doing instead doing what I wanted do and what I knew was gonna get us back to shore. I started reacting to what he was doing and then talking to him Dad. See do you how we're going, you And then we actually then he started listening to me. And then as as he started listening to me and we started working together, we got back very quickly, right and he was like laughing later. He was like if I would have just listen to you right from the beginning which you I am always like saying just listen to me and you you mom is always right, right and though it wasn't my it was at the it was my dad and that's just as bad right like they all think we all think we know best right but usually usually I'm right Anyway, I digress because I love saying that right but I'm not always right right like we're not always right, but you and
 
it doesn't matter. That's the point of this story I guess is that it doesn't matter if you're right or not. If the other person is doing actions that you don't want them to be doing you have to take control you have to take responsibility you get to decide how you react to that right? And so then you can change your actions and hopefully if They're going to see what you're doing. Your child is going to see how this actually helps right if they pick up their shoes and put them then they where they are the next time then when they go to try to put on their shoes, they actually are in the spot and if you know, or then my dad, you know realizes that you know, we're going in the right direction now, maybe I should listen to her right and so you have to take the responsibility first. And if they never change they never change right and maybe you have to set up some other type of consequence or something like that, right? But in most cases if you take responsibility, you're going to at get the control back, right and you're at going to make the situation better for yourself. And that is what we are looking to do here, right? Because we are trying to make things better. We are trying to get on this path for discovering our true north and take this journey to become a better person and that is going to be hard. We are gonna face opposition. We are going to come against a of things and we want make sure that we are choosing the right attitude every right but that we are also taking responsibility in all things in all It doesn't matter if we're right or if wrong we're taking responsibility where where it should taken, right? So I wanted to read one more quote for me for you from the Dalai Lama.
 
So this quote is from the Dalai Lama and he says when you everything is someone else's fault you will suffer a When you realize that everything Springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy. So you guys he is saying the Dalai Lama is saying when you think someone else someone else's always at fault, like you're always going to be blaming. You're always going to be in state of. You know not peace not Joy, right? Like they are you're blaming them. So they're in control of your situation. They're in control of your feelings, right? You're letting them control your pain, right? You are blaming them instead of taking responsibility. You are blaming them. And so never going be able to find peace or Joy when you're blaming others, you have to take the responsibility in whatever the situation is. And in that responsibility, you will then find peace or Joy, even if it's a situation that you cannot change and that you cannot control you will find the peace and knowing that you can't change it and you can't control it right because you cannot change other people they're going to change on their own accord. They're going to change if they want to right but you can't make them and they're not always going to change and so you're just gonna have to Find the piece and the joy in accepting the situation as it is but not in blaming them for it. Right because you give up that control and when you do that, you're giving them the power you're giving them the power and you're never to be happy when you think someone else has power over you, right? I hope this is making sense. I hope this is resonating with you. This was kind like short and sweet one. But I'm try to
 
keep them really short and sweet through this holiday season because I know we don't have all the time in the world to listen to podcasts during this time. We have so much going on. Hopefully you can listen to this while you're doing something else right multitasking. Like I always do when I listen to my patent cast, but I hope you found this helpful and I cannot wait to talk to again next week.