It's All About Grace ~ Episode #11 ~ 11/16/23

​Welcome back Mamas. I am coming at you hot this week because I am in the throes of putting together this mastermind. It's a free event we're doing. The Mamas Redefined Mental health success mastermind. It's this weekend, It's Friday through next Tuesday. It's a free, like virtual mastermind and it has been so much work. It's been so much work, way more work than I thought that it was going to be. And you guys, it has just reminded me of something that I wanted to share with you today. And it is all about grace. So having grace with ourselves and the reason, one of the reasons that I wanted to share it with you guys is because as you go through this process, as you start to work on yourself, as you're starting to take the steps to find out what you can do to help yourself personally, what you can do to move yourself to the next level, right. We're always growing. That's what we always want to do. I know for myself, no matter like what level I where I am, I'm always going to want to grow into a better person. And so, you know, some of us are starting on this journey of you know, discovering what success means to us now that we have kids. And some of us are a little bit further along in the journey and we know that we're meant for more and we're trying to uncover and really step into what that more is. And if you're at the beginning of trying 

to figure out how to improve your life in any way shape or form, you're gonna come up against opposition. And when I I don't just mean opposition from, you know, we talked a little bit about how sometimes you'll find opposition from friends or family. Like if you're having to, you know, re prioritize your life and different things are becoming a priority and you're having to, you know, cut back on this to add this in. If you're trying to prioritize yourself and you're having to, you know, add in some things that are self-care or whether or not you're trying to actually maybe like start a business or you know, do a project that you've been wanting to do for a really long time. Write a book like whatever it is that is unique to you that you are trying to do. You're going to come up with this opposition. And it might be internal and I say that because and it might be external too, but it it up becoming internal And when you start to try to step into your purpose and if you are trying to find your God-given purpose, which I believe is is very like again register for the mastermind. Because Tamra, Andres, Andres is dropping the heat when it comes to this. But you are going to come up against some things that are going to come out of of nowhere and you know, may wreak havoc on your life, right? Like, I believe that when you are trying to make yourself better, yes, there's going to be opposition from the outside world, but there's always going to be this open door that it, it can creep into your mind if you let it. And things are going to come up against you to stop you from becoming this better person, to stop you from stepping 

into your purpose. And I just want to tell you that you need to have your blinders on. You need to accept that you are human, right? Like for me, it's thinking I can do all of these things all at once and then realizing, OK, you know what? There's only so many hours in a day I have to do all of these different things. I'm going to have to give myself grace. Like this mastermind was actually supposed to like when I set out to do it, it was going to launch on the 7th or the 11th. 1111, That's a that's the Angel numbers. Like it's the very 1111. it has a special meaning to me and to a lot of others actually. But 11/11 date, right? That's the when I wanted to launch this. And as things came down, I was getting so overwhelmed that I was like, you know what, Danielle? You're just going to have to push this back a week. Like, it's just, you know, you can ask for forgiveness for the speakers that already knew. Like, nobody had actually dropped their promos. I hadn't gone live with anything. Like, we could easily move it back a week and it was all going to be okay. But I had to give myself like, first of all, I had to recognize it, right. And so that's the first step is recognizing when you are like either under attack or you're being, you're running up against that opposition. Just recognize that okay, you have to take maybe a little bit of a step back and evaluate the situation and think, OK is do I need to pivot? Can I still move forward and be sane and happy? And I have, you know, all of the things that you want to have, like the things that are important to you, the things that you hopefully have prioritized. And if you, you know, missed that episode, I would go back and listen like we're talking about finding your why and what's important to you and what you want and really 

those core values, those beliefs. And again, I'm going to plug the mastermind one more time because you guys, there's so many. I think Halle Avolio and Tamra both allude to this. And actually maybe three or four people were talking about that guiding, those guiding principles, those the true North, those things that are important to you, your core values, your core beliefs, those things that are going to give you kind of that litmus test as to what you should be saying yes and no to what you should be doing in your life. But you have to be able to take a step back and give yourself grace that you cannot get it all done. And also, when you're under this pressure, when you're making yourself better, you are possibly going to be doubting yourself a little bit more. And so you may find that you are, I don't wanna say, neglecting, but like for instance like this past week, both of my children got sick and they both got a cold, different days. One had like a toothache and another one had like a cold. They both had the cold, but you know, I don't know what was going on. But regardless, they had a lot like they weren't feeling I was in the midst of trying to get this whole mastermind. I was having all these tech issues and everything going on and they we have a lot of other things, you know, life that is happening as well and things that are due at school. You know, different things that were going on, programs that they were involved in, they both were involved in the veteran's day program at their school and they were super excited about that. And you know, we had the time change. And I know people say this time change doesn't affect things, 

but it kind of does it affects my family. I know it affects my family and so I have to remember that and also like when it when it was Thursday night, this all like came to a head where both of them are still kind of like fighting a cold. Gabriella was supposed to get something done like I can't. What was it? It was super important to her. I I don't know. But she can't even remember what it was now. Like, this is how crazy my life has been. I can't even remember. But she got all upset before bed and she's not a crier, but she was crying. And then my other one was super stuffed up and she hates being stuffed up and she didn't feel bad necessarily, but she hates all the drainage and she doesn't like to blow her nose. Like does anyone else have a child that doesn't like to blow their nose? They're like, they don't want to do it and they pretty much won't do it. And you're like fighting with them to blow their nose. They don't like the way it feels. She'll sneeze and it will like, you know, her body is saying get out or whatever and it will come out and she will say that it feels good when she's. And like, that's what you do when you blow your nose. OK, I'm on a tangent again. It was like this huge thing and it's now like bedtime is 9. My kids are a little bit later to school. Their school starts a little bit later in the morning, so bedtime is 9. They need to be in bed hopefully like sleeping by 9. And this is like 930. And both of them are hysterically crying and they're supposed to go perform. Michaela was performing like sign language during the Pledge of Allegiance for the veteran's day, like thing at their school. And Gabriella was singing because she's in the choir for the performance for these veterans that come up to school. And so both of them were very excited about this. And I said my kids, I don't know, my kids love school. Like, I don't know whose kids these are. They're not mine because I did not love school. I did not. But the my kids love school. And they and I said you guys aren't even going to be able to, 

I'm not even going to be able to let you go to school because it's going on 10:00 at this point. And I said, I'm not even going to be able to let you guys go to school at this point tomorrow. Like, this is crazy. And they had both not really completely calmed down, but both of them absolutely lost their minds. When I said that, they both started screaming, crying again. Scott was like, oh, maybe that wasn't the same thing to say to them because I was in with Gabriella. He heard me say it and he said it to Michaela. And then they both were like wailing and crying. And you guys, I was just like, Oh my gosh. Like I need to take a step back. Like these are two little kids here. They're sick. They've got a lot going on. Mommy is like working, you know, more than I, more than I have usually am. This past week with I was trying to get all the tech issues and different things that were happening figured out. And I am like, OK, I need to give them some grace. I need to give myself some grace. Like, OK you guys, you are going to school, but you just have to calm down. Like, we have to get you to calm down and needed to understand that this is all gonna be OK and let's do, like, so they did calm down. And, you know, it was like it was just one of those moments where as I looked back at it after the fact, I was like, OK, I could have done that differently. I could have done that better. And Grace, that you have to give yourself in that moment because you have so much going on and you are going to make mistakes, right. But what did I do? I apologized. I, like, apologized again the next day. I was like, look, I hope you feel better this morning. You know, always feel better. But like this is, you know, just different things that you can do. Looking back to kind of. And I just realized that I have not even done my quote yet. So I'm gonna start. I'm gonna not start, 

but I'm gonna now insert my quote because you guys, this is a great quote from Max Lucado and it is. Grace is the voice that caused us to change and then gives us the power to pull it off. Okay. And so I want you to realize like or recognize what that is saying. Grace is the voice that calls us to change, right? So we have to recognize, again, recognize that there's something that we need Grace for, but then it also gives us the power to pull it off. Because when we recognize that we did something wrong, it it then requires us to say, OK, we're going to forgive ourselves and move forward and do better next time. And so it gives us the power to pull it off, recognize that we are we need grace ourselves. And then we also need to give others grace as well. Right? So in that moment, I realized, OK, my children need some grace, but I also need some grace, right? And I need this grace. And they need this grace. And in order for me to be able to give them the grace, I need to give it to myself as well. So I think it's so important. Hopefully that made sense to you because I thought that was so, so powerful. When I read it, I was like, Oh my gosh, that is so true. And it is so important when we're trying to make ourselves into a better person to be able to realize that we all need grace. We're no one is perfect, no one is going to do it all perfectly, and we shouldn't have to try, right? God gives us all the grace in the world, right? Like we don't have to do anything to prove to him. But a lot of times we're we're trying to prove things to ourselves, right? 

And so we need to stop working so hard to try to prove things to ourselves and just go with the flow and move forward and take the steps towards making the, the advancements, the steps forward, levelling up, going to towards that true north, taking the steps on our path, but also realizing that we are going to make mistakes along the way. We are going to fail along the way. We are going to fall along the way. And we just need to be able to pick ourselves back up and to give ourselves that grace and to move forward and to learn from our mistakes and everything and keep moving forward. And I also wanted to quote one more quote because of course it's from Brené Brown. Love Brene, Brené Brown. But it's her quote is just so powerful as well. And it says grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame you guys. It is so that is so powerful. If you think about it, she is a researcher. She researches shame and vulnerability and she is saying it. Grace means all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame. We can tell ourselves that our mistakes are, you know, we we did these things and we can live with that guilt and that shame of the things. Or we can realize that those mistakes actually helped us learn something. They helped us in one way or another. And maybe, you know, me yelling at my kids and saying like, you know, that they weren't gonna get to go to school or losing my temper with them in the midst of all of that is not like something that, you know, but I did learn from it, right? Like we every time we make a 

mistake, we will learn from it and we should learn from it. And that is what Grace allows us to do is to say okay, like I did make this mistake but I am going to and you know what? I what I decided was we are going to start a little bit earlier and go and you know, do the bedtime routine or have the kids. Like we haven't really made them do this, but we have actually started to do this a little bit. It's just been so crazy in my life. But we did decide and we are going to do this and they've done it a little bit. We we've kind of implemented it one day here and one day there, but we're going to make them now go up and get ready for bed before bedtime. Go brush your teeth, get your pajamas on everything, then you can come back down because they like to watch. We don't let them watch a lot of TV, so we usually that's when they finally get to watch their TV. Time is at night. And even if they don't watch it at the end of the night, they, you know, we might have something else that they have to do or they're excited about doing. It's like their free time, you know, like, I mean, they get a lot of free time, but I'm just saying like right before bed is kind of like they're let off some more steam or cool down or whatever time. And we're deciding that we should implement the bedtime, the actual, like getting the teeth brushed. And because they'll drag that out, right, They'll drag that out forever. And so that we're not in this state of, you know, like we've got to get in bed and and we also don't feel like we have to be able to drill Sergeant, like, brush your teeth. I said brush your teeth. I said brush your teeth. Are you brushing your teeth yet? Like, did you get your pajamas on? Are they still sitting on your bed? Like, what are you doing now? Are you? You know, we don't have to be doing all of those things. We can just let them. Get their pajamas on, Let them brush their teeth, Let them do it in their fashion because 

they know that if they finish it, then they get to come back down and do something that they want to do right? And then when it's actually time for bed, all they have to do is go up and get in bed. So anyway, I I shared that just so that you can see #1. I'm sure you guys can relate and we all can use grace with our kids when we lose our tempers. But this grace also translates or transfers it. It goes for everything. You have to give yourself grace and you have to realize that things are going to come up. And as you're trying to make yourself better, there are going to be a lot of opposing forces that come maybe out of the woodworks. Like I just remember when I first started, I thought I was going to, you know, this was an idea. The Mom is Redefined success podcast was an idea that has lived in my heart for a while before I started to do it. And as I stepped into, you know, telling people about it and kind of putting the wheels into motion, all of these things started happening in my life that, like, took me off course. It took me off focus. And it took me too long. It took me too long to to check back in to those core values and to what I knew I was supposed to do. And finally when I did that, that's when I was like OK, I need to take these steps. I need to I joined. You know, I I took, I started taking a course online once and then I guess what it was an online course, you could do it on your own time. It was a great course. I absolutely loved it. But you again, you could do it on your own time. So I like so I had to put something in place where I 

like held myself accountable by getting into a group that was also holding each other accountable. And it made me like you don't have to necessarily join a cohort like I did, which is what I did to, you know, start this podcast is I joined a cohort with. There was 35 of us that were all going to launch our podcast at the same time, like on the same month. And we went through this program with someone who's a really successful podcaster. You may know her, empower her. It's her podcast. Keisha. Get married. She's amazing. Love her. And she is the one who, you know, lit the fire under me and put things into motion and was like, OK, this is what we're going to do. This is what we're going to do. And again, it was on your own time, but there was a weekly check in or whatever. And so I am one of the people who actually launched my podcast. Not everybody did, but we we held each other accountable and it wasn't until I took that step. So you have to step back. You have to take a look at what it is that is going to, I guess, 

what is going to motivate you? What is going to be the thing for you that makes you take those steps forward? Learn from your mistakes, give yourself the grace, take the steps forward, knowing that you're going to come up against opposition. And when that happens, how are you going to deal with it? You're going to give yourself grace. You're going to take a step back. You're going to learn from it. And then you're going to keep going and you're going to keep moving forward. And if you need somebody to hold you accountable, I will be that person. Actually we're and I'll be, I'll be like talking touting this a little bit at the mastermind, but we will be having a course, a Mama's Redefined success course that is coming out. It's kind of going to be like a cohort. I'm not sure what I'm going to call it exactly for Mamas to do exactly what it is to find your true north. It's going to be, it's going to be where we work together and I'm super excited about it. It isn't all finalized, all the details aren't finalized yet, but I'm thinking it's going to launch. I know it's going to launch in January, but I'm so excited for it. So get ready for that. That could be your next step forward. But anyway, I digress. I really wanted to hopefully bring you just some I needed this message this week. You know, we all need it, and we all need to remember that we are human and we are going to make mistakes. And let's give ourselves that grace and let's learn from it. And let's not sit in shame. Do not feel, you know, you can feel a little bit. You know bad about it for a second, right? If you hurt your children's feelings or whatever happened, right? Like you feel your emotions for a minute, right? But let's 

give ourselves the grace and not sit in the shame and move forward. As Brené Brown said, let the mistakes serve a purpose instead of serving Shane. I love it so much. OK you guys, that's all for this week. I would love to hear from you and please reach out if you need anything. If you have any questions, you know what? This week I'm going to drop the mastermind link so that you can register for that Mastermind. I know it's going to be so impactful. Valuable tools to improve mental health, increase joy and be more present with your kids Couldn't be coming at a better time than going into the holidays, so till next week, y'all.