Aligning with Your True North: The Impact of Emotional Disharmony ~ Episode #40 ~ June 6, 2024

​Welcome back, mamas or welcome to any new mamas we may have with us today, you guys, I have something for you today that if you know, if you follow the podcast if you listen on a regular basis, you know that I like to relate this to my life and what is going on in my life. And what has happened this past week? Has really like. And really, I can go back and say weeks and years, really, if you think about it. But what has happened? What happened last weekend with one of my daughters is the inspiration behind this episode today. And I wanna talk about you know I talk about tuning into your body and tuning into your feelings and getting like that. Check that intuition or whatnot. And I talk about it a lot. But I don't know if we truly realize the impact that our emotions, what we're feeling when things are out of alignment with the way that our emotions and our actions, like what our mind, our body, and like our emotions, are all in alignment. Things tend to go better right? And when they're out of alignment, they don't. And okay, I'm not. I'm going to get right to the point. Oh, but I want to start with a quote, right? Okay? So my 1st quote is going to be from Brian Tracy and Brian Tracy says, just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment. you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. and he says, Balance, I I like to say alignment. I don't like to use the word balance. I feel like balance was overused. I'm sure you've heard me say that before, but balance was overused, and it was kind of like this game, right? Where things had to be equal when you balance something right. You think about things being equal on both sides. But what I have discovered is that really what you're looking for is alignment. And when everything is kind of lined up when you know what your true North is, and everything is kind of pointing in that direction, that things can be out of balance in your life like you might be more focused on one area of your life than the other. a particular moment based on what's going on in your life. But if everything that you, your you know, let's go back to what Brian Tracy said. Like your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions, your goals, your values. If those are aligned. even though you might be more focused on work at the moment than you are on family, or whatever it is, as long as everything is pointing towards that true North. Then you are performing better. Right you are in alignment, and it is good for your body. Now, what happened over the weekend that made me want to talk about. This was so, and this is really like I would have never. I would have never come up with this the way that I did if I hadn't had a prior experience of this. But I felt like it was so impactful that I needed to share it with you guys. So on Thursday I'm gonna go back to Thursday. We were throwing a surprise 50th wedding anniversary party for my parents. Okay, and it was so much fun like they had a blast. It was amazing, right? But the ruse or the way we got them there was my children. Okay, we use them. They were fully like willing and wanting to participate. And but what what we did was we created a lie right? Like, we created this lie. We we said that Scott and I were going to dinner for our wedding anniversary, which was last week, and we said that we asked them if they could watch the kids right for an overnight, which is totally. We do that all the time, like they love to watch the kids. And so what had also happened was, my daughter had had her end of year picnic canceled at her school, and so she came up with this idea my oldest daughter came up with this idea that they would do a redo of this party that they were supposed to have at the park with my parents, and that's how we are. Gonna get them to the park because the party was at this this place called. It was like a big house at the Park that we you can rent out for, like events, or whatever it's like this nice house. It's kind of indoor and outdoor spaces gorgeous, and we rented it for their party. But how are we gonna get them there right like, how like, what was, how are we gonna do this. And so, my children, we're gonna get them there like they they were like, we can get them there, you know, whatever. We'll just go to the Park and whatever. Then my daughter came up with this idea for the redo of this party, and she had, like a schedule which this is not unlike her to. She invites them. She makes invitations like she uses canva. She likes to do stuff like this, and so she made them an invitation to this redo end of Year celebration party, and she made a schedule, and they were supposed to come over to the White House. And so my kids had to. You know, they weren't lying the whole time, but they were definitely lying right. And so you know, telling them things to get them to go, you know or telling them. You know, they thought they were gonna eat pizza, and they were gonna order the pizza. And you know my mom and dad are packing all this like extra food, because my mom knows that like, I'm not just gonna let the kids eat pizza. I'm gonna wanna have them to have like some fruit or vegetables, or whatever with it. So my mom's packing a cooler and like the whole thing right. And so, my my youngest daughter is the one who we told her, just to pretend like she cannot lie like she does not lie like she won't lie. You can't get her to break rules like she is my rule follower. I love it great, but you know, for this instant instance I told her to pretend like she was acting, you know, because they both like drama and acting. I was like, just pretend like you're acting right. And so you have to get on. G, Dad to the park. You have to get on to the inside of this party and And so they did right. And when they did it was amazing like they did a great job. My parents never like thought anything of it until, like it was literally like they were walking into the place because my kids, the way they wound up. Getting them to go inside was like they were like my parents knew there was a party going on because we had shut the blinds and everything so they couldn't see that it was us. But you know it was very clear that there was people inside this house, and there were cars everywhere, you know, and my parents and my my girls were talking about wanting to go inside and check out this house. and my parents were like, you can't go in there. There's obviously a party, and all of a sudden my girls just yell party crashers, and they go running into the house, and they didn't come back out right. So my parents had no choice but to follow them into this house, and at that point that's like totally out of character for my kids. They were kind of like, what's what's going on like what is really going on. But we they had no idea that that was going to happen, and they got like kind of a wind of it, I think, right then, but like when they walked in and saw it, they were just in complete shock. And the scope of it like there was almost a hundred people there like it was crazy, but it was so fun, too, but like things that people were saying to my girls was a great job, like great job lying, you know. Great job getting them there. Great job keeping it up, you know. People were starting to say things like my dad even said it like they're either gonna be great actresses or great con artists and like my dad even said, like to me, like, you're in trouble like. and meaning like when they get older, like they're gonna be able to lie really well, and you know, because they had no idea they did not catch on to the whole thing, and they had even we had even had to make up something about what had happened earlier in the day, because my dad was gonna take them earlier. And so they had to like come up with this complete story, which I didn't even know about until after the fact that they had to lie about making up this story, and they made up this chandelier that they saw, and like they were explaining it in detail, and like, I do not know how they kept this thing going. They did. Amazing. But the point is is that my youngest daughter was not okay with that right? She was not okay with the lying. She was not okay with like people saying the things about her that they did, and no one was being like people were, you know. It was supposed to be a good thing, but like she felt very conflicted, and I didn't find this out until the next day, right till like Saturday. So this happened on Thursday, and I didn't find this out until Saturday, when I finally figured this out, but she was very conflicted about people saying good job for like lying and being like proud of them, for like lying right. And so it was. Just she was like, it was just weird, right, mom, it was just weird. So what happened was on Friday afternoon. She started to get a headache. and then she didn't really say anything to me, but she was acting a little different. And then by the evening. We dinner and she we were. We always do movie night if we can, on Friday nights. And so we were having like popcorn, and she normally is like eating or popcorn and having a good time with the movie. And she was just kind of like not really eating the popcorn. And my husband was like. You know, Michaela, are you doing okay? And she was just like, I don't know. And she looked at me, and I was like what's going on, and she was like my head hurts. I don't know. I just my stomach feels weird, and I was like, well, let's just not eat the popcorn, you know. Are you okay? And I like put my hand on her head, and it was little warm, but it wasn't like hot at all. It was just kind of like. No, you don't have fever. and so you know, I'm like here, just lay down on me. We're do some tapping I was tapping on our head and doing like we like to do that kind of stuff tapping. And this whole thing is a little woo right right. But I'm telling you guys it's so true. It's so true. When you're out of alignment. So bottom line bottom line, she winds up getting sick. She winds up getting sick, you know, throwing up, and then she feels a lot better right? And she her head is still hurting a tiny, tiny bit. But I was like, let's just go to bed, you know. So you know, we had finished the rest of the movie and and then she got sick. And then I was like, Okay, let's go to bed and and you know it was a little bit earlier than she would have normally gone to bed, but we were just like, let's go to bed, and you'll feel better in the morning. I have a feeling, because you know, if your head doesn't hurt anymore. It most likely we I was trying to figure out what it was right. And so we are thinking about everything she ate. It was the same as everyone else, or at least her sister or my husband, you know, like they had had the same pizza, and like all the things, so we were like ruling everything out, and next morning I woke up, and it like dawned on me, and the reason that it dawned on me that this was what made her sick is because years ago, and I believe I've told this part of this story before. But my oldest daughter was taking dance class, and she would always complain when she came in from school, that she had to get ready for dance, and she didn't complain until like halfway through the year right? So it was like the second half of the year. She was complaining about dance class, and I was like, you know, I always made her go right like we commit to something. We do it right. So I always made her go, and when she came home we would talk about it, and she really enjoyed dance like she would say, Yeah, I had a great time. We had fun. I liked it, you know, Da Da, Da, but she never wanted to go when she got him from school, like it was always like a chore to get her to go, but then, when she was there, she like had fun, and she would say she liked it. and everything. But what kept happening was she was getting this my, these migraines, and she would get them. After she came home from dance we would be eating dinner, and all of a sudden she would get a huge, hard headache like a really bad headache, and then she would throw up, and then she would be better after like a lot better. Her head would still hurt her like pretty decently, and then the next morning she would be completely fine. Right? Well, these headaches always happened on a Wednesday, because after a while I started tracking it like the doctor was like, you need to start tracking when she's doing this. What is she eating, you know, da da da. And so I was tracking. It was always on a Wednesday, which is her dance night right? And it was always like a few weeks apart, like you know, like and always on a Wednesday night, and always the same exact story like she would feel sick. Her head would kill her like she would get sick, and then she would be fine the next day. and so I finally figured it out. I finally. My husband was like, you know, she always says she likes dance, but I really don't think she does, and she's been wanting to tell you that she doesn't want to take dance, but she doesn't want to tell you. And I was like, why doesn't she wanna tell me? And she and I was like, I don't know, or he was like, I'm not sure why she doesn't want to tell you, because I love dance right like I think that's why she don't wanna tell me. But, you guys, the point is that finally it. I figured it out like she didn't like going to dance, and so I ended up, felt out of alignment for her. So she loved dance. She loves singing. She loves dancing, but she didn't like the structure of the class she didn't like, and she was there for a long time like I can't remember. I feel like it was 2 h that she was there, and so she did not like the structure of it. She didn't like being, you know, like learning and having. She loves to dance like freestyle and do her own thing. But she did not love the class, and so And and she was also kind of good at it, right? So we never really put it together but once. My husband told me that. And then we started thinking about this. I was like, Oh, my gosh, she is getting sick because of dance, and you know my husband kind of thought it was crazy, but I literally called Gabriella down had a conversation with her. and it never happened again. After the conversation. the headaches, the migraines, they completely went away. After the conversation. She still had, like a month or a month and a half of dance left of the year, and we still said, Continue with the dance, but just talking about it alleviated migrants because they had gotten almost weekly by the end of it, like we. It was like they had gone like one a month like you know. And and those had started the year prior. So those had started before that, and we didn't even realize it until after Christmas, when she started complaining about it right? And so it was really crazy. How it was her being out of alignment with her emotions. with what she was feeling and what she was doing. like the 2 things were out of alignment. And so so we didn't realize this, or I didn't put 2 and 2 together until, like it, it started to become more often and more frequent, and because it was always on the Wednesday I finally put it together. But what was the craziest part of it was that it was just the conversation with us which, you know. I I talked to her about not wanting to continue dance and you know, not liking why she didn't like it, and what she didn't like about it, and what she did like about it, and you know. What she really wanted to do was she did want to perform in the recital like that was the one thing that she like was really excited about and always talked about, was wanting to perform in the recital, and so she loves to perform right. She just didn't like the structure of the dance class, and so and so just having the conversation about it with us was enough to stop the migraines. They never came back now. She did get a couple of migraines like years later, when she was going through puberty and those were like few and far between, and I think she got 2 migraines, and they weren't even as bad as the ones before, like the hormonal imbalance wasn't even as bad like she never actually physically got sick from those. But the emotional impact that it had on her body from being out of alignment with what she felt that she was supposed to do right was what was enough to cause her to become physically ill. This is what I want to. Just drive home is just that we don't think about this as parents right like, we are going a lot of times a million miles an hour, right? Like we have things going on, and sometimes our bodies are telling us things that. or our child. Our children's bodies are telling us things that we need to know. But we aren't tuning into. And so when I woke up on Saturday morning and started to think about you know, it was still bothering me like what was wrong with Michaela, like, you know. And when she woke up I was like she was like fine. She was jumping all around. She was being completely, you know, normal. And I brought her. I brought her in that morning, and I talked to her, and I said, Hey, I was wondering if if you know that bothered you, what everything that you had to do to get my parents to the party if that bothered you. and she was like, well, I mean, I didn't like doing it. I just thought it was really weird that everyone thought it was so great and was like saying so. She was like telling me exactly why it was bothering her. and she told me you know, that it did bother her, and that, you know she was like. At 1st she was kind of like. Well, it was. It was, you know. She was like kind of afraid to tell me even that it bothered her. And I was like, it's okay. I really believe that this might be why you had your migraine last night, and why or why your head hurt, and why you got sick. And she was like, really. And I was like, Yeah, so it's okay. If you tell me what what you're really feeling. And that's when she started talking. And again talking about it, you guys. 1st of all, she released it right. She released it by by getting it out of her body. By throwing up and by having the headache like those were her signs to herself that she was out of alignment, and had she just kept going like she would have been okay, right? But she would have stuffed it down. She, her body, would have learned how to deal with that right? And then it would have moved on, because that's what our bodies do right. But who knows what could have happened? Right like she could have been irritable, she could have been. There's lots of different ways that this stuff like piles up, and we are taught to kind of like, not really think in this way where you know I don't know why, but I feel like we're getting more in tune with it now, like what we put in our body, like the actual food that we eat has a big part in how we feel, but also how we feel, has a, you know, in our emotions and our thoughts and our beliefs, and what we tell ourself. And you know, all of this stuff has a huge impact on our physical body as well. Not just what we eat. It's what we think, like stress is the leading cause of most illness. The leading cause of most illness is stress, and we make ourselves sick by being stressed out. It's so unbelievably crazy to me that you know. Wellness, or this is like called woo woo right? Because it is really, if you think about it, it makes total sense, and I'm going to go ahead and read another quote. And this one it says, this is from I. I don't know how to how to say this, but I think it's a Yanla Ianma, EIYA NLAL. A. IYAN. LA. Yanzan or Vanzant. I don't know. It's a very it's a very. It's a script that I cannot read. I found it in 2 different places, and both times I'm not really sure of the, but it says when you are in alignment with the desires of your heart, things have a way of working out when you're in alignment with the desires of your heart things they have a way of working out. And it is so true because we, when we are in alignment. We're able to take this action. That's from this different place. And things have a way of working out. They just do because we're in alignment. We know where we're going. We are. We are operating in alignment. We are operating in such a way that you know I always talk about where focus goes, energy flows, and I say things like things like the way you do. One thing is the way you do everything right. And so it's so true, like we have to check in with ourselves. We have to and and you know I I am one who goes to the chiropractor. So physical alignment of your neck and back, and all of those things is super important, too, like there, if you're out of alignment in your spine and your hips, you know there's all kinds of problems that can happen in your body when you're out of alignment. But it's also internal emotional thoughts, beliefs, actions when those are out of alignment. That is also something that could send you out of alignment in your body, out of, you know. Make things not the way that you want them to be for your child children or for yourself. Right? And so I'm gonna read one more quote, and this one is from Eckert Toll. And it says, when the basis for your actions, this one is deep, so this one requires some thinking right. So when the basis for your actions is in our alignment. With the present moment your actions become empowered by the intelligence of life itself. Okay, I'm gonna read it one more time, because that one's deep when the basis for your actions is inner alignment with the present moment your actions become empowered by the intelligence of life itself. So it's basically saying that when you're in line with what you're doing when you're aligned with your present moment, when you're acting in such a way that is in alignment with your present moment like if you're acting in such a way that is not in alignment with your present moment, like Michaela lying, or like Gabriela, not wanting to dance, but being at dance right it it it becomes this thing that is hindering you. It becomes this thing that it does not empower you right. It does the opposite of that. And it's so. It says, your actions become empowered by the intelligence of life itself. And so it's basically saying that God. The universe, you know, like everything, knows when you're acting out of alignment. And so you're not able to be empowered like you can empower yourself by acting in alignment. It's so powerful. This is Eckert Toll. Right? He's the one who said this, and like I'm pretty sure he is a very smart philosopher, and so unless I'm thinking of the wrong person. But I am so. I believe in this so much that I wanted to take this. You know I I feel like I've gone a little long on this episode, but I feel like it's well worth it. And the stories really drive home the point that I'm trying to make, which is like this whole work that I'm that I'm you know. I'm trying to do this work of finding your true north, and then going towards that and moving in the direction, and using that as your guide as your compass. This is so important in so many respects. It's important to you. It's important to you as a mother, as a person. It's important to your children like it is so important. And I want to leave you with just the nudge to really check in with that, to check in with your alignment. And if you need help in any area of this work that you need to do like in order to discover all of this, because it wasn't something that I was able to discover overnight. It wasn't really something that I was even in tune with myself. When I was going through all of this myself. But it is been something that I have been dedicated to for the last few years of my life, and that I have been a so so incredibly much happier person once I've been acting in alignment with what I want for my life for my family. and so I implore you to just check in with yourself and see and see if that is, you know, if you've been sick in your body, if you have been you know, physically like sick, or even if you know you've ailments, and you've been in pain like these are all things that we do, and they're indicators that your body is giving you that, especially when the doctor, you know, if there there could. Obviously, if you cut your finger, you're going to be in pain right? And that is like physically, you're in pain from cutting your finger right? But I'm talking about. If you can't figure out what the pain is in your body, or why you're having it. It could have something to do with this. So I'm gonna leave you with that until next week. Y'all.